Saturday, September 26, 2009

Pitt Welcomes Dropouts Back To Oakland; Ravenstahl, Harper Hail A "Great Success"

Pitt apparently scheduled a "back to campus weekend" for dropouts to coincide with the Pittsburgh G20 summit. The Pitt News (Chris Neverman) has the photographs:

To emphasize the "back to school" theme, the returning dropouts were transported to campus by school bus.

Each dropout was assigned to an orientation group, and each group was assigned a real student "mentor" to explain how college is supposed to work.

The dropouts then enjoyed a walking tour of the lower campus.

During a special journalism class, dropouts (with clipboards) conducted a mock interview of a student concerning civil liberties.

Male dropouts were offered the chance to relive memories by chasing coeds they never, ever had any shot at.

Student traditions have changed, so undergrads volunteered to demonstrate the proper way to raise their hands while chanting 'Let's Go Pitt' during Sweet Caroline.

Former Pitt football player and campus fixture Chuck Bonasorte, pictured at the back of his "Pitt Stop" truck at Forbes and Bigelow, donned a special "dropout" costume in a fruitless effort to try to sell Pitt t-shirts and hoodies to the dropouts. "Buncha cheapstakes," he muttered. "All they want is donuts."

For those who regretted never being able to make varsity, athletics director Steve Pedersen created a special "Pitt synchronized bicycling team" for the weekend.

After an exciting day on campus, the dropouts marched west on Forbes to get 'O' dogs (while real students returned to their dorms, rubbing their eyes and screaming). Then, most of the dropouts ended their campus experience by conducting a mass search for a Dunkin' Donuts or a Krispy Kreme.

NOTE : This material was provoked not by line officers but rather by the command staff. This donut's for you, Chief Wiggum Harper.


Anonymous said...

my husband is a police officer and i do not appreciate this

Infinonymous said...

Unless your husband ranks at assistant chief or higher, or is one of the commanders or other members of the command staff issuing the orders that violate American citizens' rights, this mockery is not aimed at your husband.

As I stated here:

The boy mayor (in the photograph, he's the middle child) just pronounced Pittsburgh police conduct a "great success."

He's half-right. Which, for him, is a personal best.

Individual officers conducted themselves with in an effective and professional manner, with admirable restraint and honor. They deserve gratitude.

If your husband is issuing the orders, however, replace "deserve gratitude" with "deserve to be fired, then sued by the victims."