Monday, April 19, 2010

Listing The Names On The List-Makers' List

One of the more curious aspects of southwestern Pennsylvania during its decades of decline has been how little of its public affairs has been conducted in public.

Which morons Who decided to pour the taxpayers' scarce dollars into that pointless hole under the Allegheny River (every dollar poured, of course, at trade-union rates)? Whose idea was it to impose the drink tax -- the largest tax increase in county history (or, as Dan Onorato describes it, "nothing") -- on Allegheny County? How and when were local public pension plans bankrupted, and by whom? What is the financial condition of the authorities that have moved most of the region's public accounts off the public ledger?

A rarely remarked element of this opacity is The List, which recently was illuminated briefly (and inadvertently) consequent to the inability of one of The List-Makers to operate an Intertubes-compatible electronic mail apparatus properly. Because this flicker of insight might have aroused public appetite for more information, The List is to be revealed Infinonymously, beginning this day, along a timetable established by the Book of Genesis. (After revelation of The List has been completed, The List-Makers and The Other List may also be disclosed.)

The first name revealed to be on The List is that of Michael E. Lamb, son of Thomas and Controller of InsolvenCity. His place on The List was secured by heresy, in the form of impertinent questioning of The List-Makers' dogma.

The second name from The List to be revealed is that of Rich Lord, a Post-Gazetteer damned by his foul truths, whose place among The Listed derives from myriad infidelities and offenses.

And so it begins. The List-Makers' List. Revealed.

1. Michael E. Lamb
2. Rich Lord


Anonymous said...

Rich Lord, was he pulled of the Grant Street beat?

Infinonymous said...

More adjusted, temporarily, to a hybrid Grant Street-First Avenue assignment.

Or, one might say, moved to a special desk to work on a project involving one of his hobbies, big-game hunting.