The Infinonyform was returned to the United States Bureau of the Census today. Several media reports -- and a government website -- suggest the form should have been posted earlier.
The form, however -- by expressly instructing* that all questions are to be answered with information "as of April 1, 2010" -- establishes that every form returned before today was submitted by a scofflaw.
Maximum fine for scofflawing (providing false information to the Bureau of the Census): $500.
Therefore, if anyone in a household was struck by a bus (whether or not operated by a driver who had completed anger-management therapy) and killed, or, worse, ran off with some guy from a Paris Hilton sex tape, between the time a premature Census form was submitted and April 1, the person who signed the form is obligated by law to correct the lies.
* Fairness requires it be noted that the official form provided conflicting guidance by exhorting Americans to return the form "TODAY!" even though it reached mailboxes a month before April 1.
Is he tired of winning yet?
6 hours ago