If You Can't Step Away From The Screen(Vol. 4)

Greg Marmalard's recent visit -- coupled with the imminent prospect of a food fight not seen in these parts since Frick dined at the Duquesne Club after long days of drowning or declaring war on workers -- is a signal.

We need a stupid, futile and hilarious gesture on someone's part, and the Deltas are just the guys to do it, with nothing short of the finest achievement in American motion pictures: Animal House.

An improbable, ramshackle production that earned four stars (and the label "anarchic) from Ebert, launched a dozen careers (including one you'd never guess), spawned innumerable lines that have become American cultural currency, generated one of one of the highest rates of return among major studio releases (much to Donald Sutherland's enduring chagrin) and became the funniest movie ever made.

Road trip! Food fight! Double-secret probation. Seven years of college down the drain. Toga!!! A work of comedic genius that at several levels turns morality tale (and, thank goodness, lack-of-morality tale).

If you can't step away from the screen, put that time to its most productive use: Watch Animal House.