Monday, August 2, 2010

Wonderings And Wanderings In Infinonymity

Anyone care to guess when That's Church (or any local television station that provided saturation coverage of the original event six months ago) might address the news that a dozen children transported from Haiti are still stuck in a local institution while the United States Department of State and the Haitian government sift through the shoot-then-aim mission that brought them to Pittsburgh?

If Dick's Sporting Goods is going to stand by Ben Roethlisberger (much as the young woman depicted at right is doing), why not go all-in and conduct a "Be Big Ben's Wingman" contest? (Ben might need a new wingman or two, if certain police departments have a say in the matter.) If the people at Dick's don't announce the contest details soon, Infinonymous might perform that public service.

If anyone has access to Glenn Pavone, please tell him that his fans want more shows, if Infinonylogs are any indication. This site gets at least 20 hits each week from searches that include "Glenn Pavone," but the Cyclones' website indicates no shows are scheduled.

Another common route to Infinonymity: "buy six pack in Pittsburgh" or "buying beer in Pitsburgh." This prompts consideration of starting a "best places to buy best beers" feature.

Someone is Dillsburg, Pennsylvania seems intensely interested in Infinonycoverage of Dan Onorato's assessment misadventures. Does Corbett have an opposition research shop in Dillsburg?

Anyone interesting in meeting the person who landed at Infinonymity by searching for "inspirational message on inbreeding" recently?


Anonymous said...

I picked up a copy of Pittsburgh magazine recently, in a doctor's office or some such. Turns out that the That's Church lady has a column. It was the lamest piece of tripe I've seen in quite some time. Painful navel-gazing and strained attempted yuks about the Church Lady's criteria for being a burgher. In true paid-by-the-word fashion she went on for many paragraphs about how if you live in a California area code but remember eating chip chopped ham in the Dormont area code then you're still a burgher, and if you live in another area code but identify with a different Pittsburgh area code, then you're etc. etc. Clearly a graduate of the Rick Sebak school of excruciating Pittsburgh cliches. And of course, she ended the piece with the already way worn out self-referential air quotes around an arched eyebrow inside parentheses closing.

But yeah, I guess I did read it; therefore, Church Lady is the frickin' awesomest!!!!!

Bram Reichbaum said...

What's that, Virginia is the new Rick Sebak?

It could be argued that the twelve children are well-cared for and are much better off than they would have been in post-quake Haiti, even if it they oughtn't have gotten mixed up with the two-score duly processed and adopted orphans. Which means it could be argued that it's not much of a story.

Anonymous said...

What's with the sister's going back down to start a new Mission? Can they take them back? Remember when Pitt Girl got everyone all wee wee'd up about the Memorial Play Yard in Frick Park? She pushes a lot of buttons and goes off half cocked with knee jerk, feel good, goodie-goodieness, pushing buttons and leaving a mess behind while she's on to the next crusade of rightous goodness. She's now a star rubbing elbows with all of the beatiful people.Beware her next cause.

Infinonymous said...

This was not designed as a bash-PittGirl party. She plainly connects with an audience and seems to provide enjoyment and maybe even information to those readers.

When That's Church addresses serious issues, however, the combination of PittGirl and her audience tends toward a mob mentality. With respect to the Haitian situation, good intentions appear to have gone haywire in some important respects, generating victims and problems for others to sift. The treehouse crusade seemed similar, but less consequential.

Not much of a story? A dozen kids of doubtful provenance in an orphanage for six months, with diplomatic negotiations conducted by the Department of State? It may not rise to the level of who will be the fifth defensive back, or whether Randle El is still a dependable third-down receiver, or whether the Steelers fans still cheer for their low-character quarterback, but it is still a story even by the dumbest-downed standard.

MH said...

Beware her next cause.

According to the post before the one on top right now, raising money for kids with pediatric cancer to get video games while hospitalized. Have you tried calming down yourself? Because there's worse things to be half-cocked about than a good cause.