Sarah Palin Visits To Impart Family (But Not Her Family, Let Us Hope) Values To Pennsylvania

Early Returns reminds us that former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin visits Pennsylvania tonight to address people who not only believe fairy tales are true but also believe their cramped, bigoted interpretation of their favorite tale should be imposed on everyone else by law.

The Pennsylvania Family Institute's website entitles the speech "A Salute To The American Family" but provides no details, prompting wonder about which family-friendly lessons Mrs. Palin has traveled 4,000 miles to impart:

• 'Family bonding is important, to make sure your children feel comfortable communicating with you about the important events in their lives . . . through exclusive interviews with tabloid magazines.'


• 'Don't let radical secularists criticize your God-filled parenting just because your underage child is a drunken webcam tart.'


• 'If you raise 'em right, the Lord will tell your teenaged daughter when to get engaged to the father of her illegitimate child, when to break it off, when to get engaged again, when to break it off again . . . '


• 'Just because you attend a half-dozen undergraduate schools doesn't mean you need to attend a single one ranked above fourth-tier by that lamestream media.'


• 'One of the greatest lessons comes from the Bible: When the going gets tough . . . quit.'