Wednesday, January 19, 2011

If At First They Fail . . . Pittsburgh Hires Their Kids!

Corey O'Connor, a 26-year-old with a middling education and thin resume, has announced that he considers himself prepared to help solve InsolvenCity's massive problems as a member of council.

Chelsa Wagner, a 33-year-old with a good education and promising resume, has declared her candidacy for county controller.

Mark Patrick Flaherty, after two terms as county controller marked most consequentially by plastering his name on every gas pump in sight, seeks election as Allegheny County's executive.

Adam Ravenstahl, a 26-year-old with a middling education and risible resume, was elected to represent northernmost InsolvenCity in the Pennsylvania General Assembly.

The common attribute among these candidates is a politically prominent surname, a point that reliably trumps genuine qualifications among local voters.

The obvious question, given the condition in which public service from the Flahertys, Wagners, Ravenstahls, and O'Connors (and let us not overlook the Costas) has placed InsolvenCity and the greater Pittsburgh region: Why?

The obvious answer: Where most observers would see a swirl around a toilet bowl, some Pittsburghers see the makings of a victory lap.

Infinonytune: My Father's House, Bruce Springsteen


What Dan said ... said...

Too damn funny re: Marcellustahl. Luke once said in the paper that the Pittsburgh Promise was just as important to the city as Super Bowls and Stanley Cups. Now it's Marcellus?! "But that's what Dan said!" Luke whimpered.

Conservative Mountaineer said...

Yeah, but they all have something just as important as their last names..
the "D" after their name on the ballot.

As the Louisiana chef would say.. "Ga-ran-tee Victory".

Infinonymous said...

Making inheritance of political position a partisan issue scarcely favors Republicans . . . George W. Bush ensured that sensible Republicans would refrain from mentioning the issue for decades.

MH said...

Also, half of the President Harrisons were Republican.

futile said...

Trying to make sense to CM is like voting Republican in a Pittsburgh election.

Anonymous said...

Another thing they all have in common - none of them have ever had a real job.

Anonymous said...

I know this is an old, old post, but I have a suggestion on the Flaherty campaign stickers on all of our gasoline pumps: use a Sharpie. Shut up and stop whining and take some action. I keep a black one in the car and redact his name from all of them. (Please be responsible about it. Don't cover up any of the other information that has some possibly legitimate use. Just stick to the words 'Mark Patrick Flaherty'.)