Friday, May 21, 2010

Unsolicited Advice Series: Corbett, Onorato

The Great Tweet-Hunter Tom Corbett, returning to the prosecutorial wars after a fruitless expedition for Twits, told a judge today that a non-violent criminal's punishment should be intensified because "Defendant has extensively and anonymously utilized a blog . . . to attack and malign the investigative and prosecutorial process which resulted in his conviction."

In other words, prosecutor Tom Corbett wants a man to spend more time in prison because that man dared question the performance of a public official criticized politician Tom Corbett (aptly, it appears) during an election campaign involving political candidate Tom Corbett.

In otherer words, Tom Corbett has compounded his sketchy blending of politics and prosecutions with ethical blinders, legal error and general indecency.

This episode offers lessons to both Pennsylvania gubernatorial candidates:

Tom Corbett: Shut up, now! Hire a lawyer familiar with legal ethics, ideally one with a reasonable understanding of the proper role of a prosecutor in the American system of justice. Your transparently selfish, unhinged pursuit of defendants Democrats such as Brett Cott indicates a huge moral, ethical and legal gap in your office and in your character. If your first few days as a Republican nominee for governor are a guide, you are going to come from ahead and lose. Deservedly. Just shut up.

Dan Onorato: Keep quiet! When your opponent insists on grandstanding in a way that depicts him as an ethically bankrupt, erratic, thin-skinned bully, let him have the headlines. Especially when opening your mouth would be counterproductive (because the less the voters know you and your record, the more they will like you). If your first few days as a Democratic nominee for governor are a guide, you may be able to overcome decades of political template and your own inadequacies simply by allowing your opponent to self-destruct. Just stay quiet.


Anonymous said...

Infy, I think I'm starting to really, really like you. Can I convince you to train your incredible (and often impeccable) prose upon the state legislative races as well as the governor's race? I think you'd be doing the Commonwealth an extrremely valuable service.

Infinonymous said...

Which races interest you?

Bram Reichbaum said...

Jane Orie vs MacGruber admittedly leaps to mind.

MH said...

Has anybody ever solicited advice here?

Infinonymous said...

People ask about childrearing, college choices, religious preference, music, litigation tactics, medication, wedding gifts, menus, birth control methods, campaign strategy, suicide, gardening and similar points constantly -- but usually by e-mail, not in the comments section.

MH said...

Good to know. My sister got married last fall. I'm a bit behind and the stuff on the registry was too cheap for a sibling. What should I get them?

Infinonymous said...

Follow this line until you have spent what you wish:

1. 10-inch cast iron skillet (Lodge, probably)

2. 15-inch cast iron skillet

3. large (7 qt) cast iron Dutch oven

4. good (=/= expensive) chef's knife

5. stainless steel-over-aluminum sauce pans

6. dozen or more airtight stainless steel spice containers

7. carving set (Towle, maybe)

8. stock pot with pasta insert and steamer

9. stainless steel (or at least sturdy) roaster with rack

10. manual seam release can opener

Everyone needs this stuff; most learn this by wasting time and money on junk. Much of this equipment should last a lifetime. She will think of you every day (unlikely if you go for the three-section silver-and-glass relish tray). You will spare her the expense of learning how to equip a kitchen the hard way, or the misfortune of never learning. As the years progress, she will periodically recognize that others' gifts have broken or been sent to the garage while the thoughtfulness of yours endures. You might get a few dinner invitations out of this.

Get what you can at a restaurant supply store. If you still haven't exhausted your budget after getting that smooth-edge opener, which should take you just past $500, there is more where this came from.

MH said...

Thansk. I may try some of these. Have to check to see what she already has.