It's official! Any claim that parents of southwestern Pennsylvania lack opportunity for their children must now be withdrawn: Landing your son a chance to work with Charlie Sheen (right) is the best opportunity we've heard since getting your daughter engaged to Ben Roethlisberger.
We hope the Allegheny Conference will forgive us for being distracted by the moribund economy, population flight, infrastructure decay and insolvency for all these years.
Infytune: Ooh La La, Ronnie Wood (too-drunk-to-care version)
Infytune: Ooh La La, Faces (damn-good-song version)
The Laziest Son-of-a-bitch on the Planet
1 hour ago