Thursday, March 10, 2011

Regional Representatives: Fortunately, The Ground May Have Already Broken Our Fall

The Allegheny Conference, local elected officials and even the local headline-writers are furiously applying truckloads of lipstick to census results demonstrating that InsolvenCity and Allegheny County have continued to hemorrhage population in the Twenty-First Century. (The City of Pittsburgh, perhaps for the first time since George Washington was president, holds less than one-quarter of Allegheny County's population.)

Joanna Doven, representing mayor Luke Ravenstahl, told a reporter that "We believe that we have reversed the brain drain and are now experiencing brain gain."

The reporter apparently was too kind to note that Ms. Doven and her boss represent the generation of Pittsburghers from the period in which departure of young people with resources, education, ambition and opportunities diluted the city's gene pool.

Infinonytune: Looks Like We Made It, Barry Manilow
Infinonytune: Top Of The World, The Carpenters

4 comments:

JenEngland said...

Ok, the key is to listen to infinytunes WHILE reading. The image of Luke and Joanna as the Carpenters is perfect. I think every time I hear one of them speak now I'm just going to imagine a Carpenters song coming out of their mouth. I would pay good money to have Joanna Doven open every press conference or Mayoral speaking engagement with an anemic little "Yehaw."

JenEngland said...

Oh, and the Post Gazette is now going to be read in the voice/to the Tune of Barry Manilow.

Agent Ska said...

Any press conference started with Yehaw would be amazing and awesome.

Mark said...

Brain drain? Toss in a little radioactive water, and watch the brains fly outta here ...