Post-Gazette Doubles Down On Coverage Of Hundred-Dollar Heists In The Laurel Highlands

Today's self-proclaimed "great newspaper" features two mentions of petty larceny -- reports from a hamlet at least a 90-minute drive from the newspaper's hometown -- on its home page.

One such use of front-page Sunday real estate, reproduced in its inexplicable entirety:

More thefts probed at Seven Springs
Police said a snowboard and goggles, collectively valued at $730, were taken on Friday.

We tried mockery. Next step is inquiry: Unless the snowboard belonged to Fred Frank (bonus coverage!), the goggles were Clementine's and the theft occurred at the mountain chalet of the lovely Norah Lawlor and the dashing Jeffrey Bradford, how can this Somerset County pilfery fetish be explained?

(Be careful, Post-Gazetteers: Use a non-P-G e-mail account for correspondence)

Infinonytune: Conquering Fools, O.A.R. (Of A Revolution)