Sunday, August 23, 2009

Maybe Snoop Could Introduce Luke to Shante?

I know it would have been impossible to pry Bill Newlin's hands from legal fees association with Tom Murphy's destruction of the city economic development projects, especially those associated with PNC Park, but we can nonetheless dream about what might have occurred if Pittsburgh had hired the lawyer who represented child rapper Shante -- that's Dr. Roxanne Shante, thanks to the lawyer -- to negotiate the stadium contract with the Pirates.

Maybe Pittsburgh wouldn't have the worst franchise in the recorded history of major league baseball major professional sports, a club with a lesser record, lower attendance, and a lower payroll than was the case before Murphy handed a couple of hundred million taxpayer dollars (and control of invaluable land) to the Pirates' owners?

I acknowledge it might become necessary to revisit the issue next month, but today's bright side concerning Luke Ravenstahl is that he isn't even the worst mayor in Pittsburgh's recent memory.

For legal matters going forward, Luke should probably think about getting the number of Dr. Shante's lawyer from his pal Snoop (who, conveniently, will be in town next month, for a show at Mr. Small's Funhouse). I have not received official confirmation that Luke has a Snoopadelics ticket, but the round-the-clock Taser-and-cuff drills being conducted by Millvale police suggest word has been passed.

UPDATE: Agent Ska apparently had not seen the SnoopaLuke shot before (too much nose-in-the-book time, young lady?). She is conducting a caption contest.

UPPERDATE: The Post-Gazette has published a front-page announcement of the Snoop show -- about three months after the show was announced. The P-G newsroom obviously continues to lack a Google-compatible Intertubes apparatus -- with Labor Day just around the corner, what about that telethon?

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