Infinonymous: How To Succeed In Life Without Really Trying

Sunday, August 30, 2009

How To Succeed In Life Without Really Trying

Aspiring young journalists who spent the decade following high school studying journalism, editing their college newspapers, completing internships, developing their craft at small publications and repaying student loans have learned that they miscalculated.

The proper preparation for a network assignment, it turns out, would have been b

leaching their hair, partying hardy, getting arrested, pledging the Kappas as a legacy, getting arrested again and -- most important by far -- ensuring their father was a President, their grandfather was a President, and their great-grandfather was a Senator.

What's next? Hiring the Obama girls to cover Fed policy during summer vacations and over Christmas break?

P.S. Speaking of the value of education, check the "Back To School Specials" at Infinonyvision (right).

2 comments:

little_minx said...: Sheesh, Jenna Bush Hager was a Theta (= Kappa Alpha Theta), not a Kappa (= Kappa Kappa Gamma). And while we're visiting the subject of U/T-Austin sorority gals, Lynda Bird Johnson was a ZTA (Zeta Tau Alpha) there.; September 2, 2009 at 7:31 PM
Infinonymous said...: You are correct, minx. I was wrong.

What's worse, I knew it: Pitt's Kappas and Thetas shared a house at Bayard and Bellefield and, as Frank Sinatra remarked about Ava Gardner and Rita Hayworth, 'I done 'em both.'

Worth watching:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/3531/saturday-night-live-the-sinatra-group; September 3, 2009 at 11:53 AM

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THE PROPOSITIONS BOARD (REVISED JUNE 18 2013)

OLD LINE IN PARENTHESES

FOR PRIMER ON ODDS, SEE
PROPOSITIONS POINTERS
AT END OF BOARD LISTINGS

****FEATURED LINES*****
***********************

RAVENSTAHL PROSECUTION

Original presentment

Luke unindicted co-consprtr 4-1

Luke immunity for testimony 3-1

Luke indicted 3-5

State's evidence against Luke
(must testify or affidavit)

(no action w/o charges)

F.Crawford 1-3

A.Bedway 1-2

P.Ford 1-1

N.Harper 3-2

D.Sciulli 3-2

M.Gauntner 3-2

Y.Zober 3-2
R,Gigliotti 2-1

A.Lazowski 2-1

J.Verbanac 2-1
Lamar Media 2-1

C.Zappala 3-1
R.Burgess 3-1

R.Stephany 3-1

D.Lavelle 6-1

Luke's wife (or ex) 9-1

Luke's girlfriend 5-1

Huss (Mr. or Mrs.) 4-3

INSOLVENCITY MAYOR

General Election

B.Peduto 1-12

D.Harris 99-1

J.Wander 99-1

Field 15-1

GOP (10-1) 50-1

GOP (other than Onorato) 51-1

independent (6-1) 12-1

endorsed Democrat (5-2) LOST

RAVENSTAHL INDICTMENT
by 6/30/2013 (3-1) 2-1

by 12/31/2013 (3-2) 6-5

by 12/31/2014 1-1

L. RAVENSTAHL

serves full term 1-1

appoints 'interim mayor' 10-1

*****CLOSED LINES****

***********************

PITTSBURGH MAYOR 2013

Democratic Primary

B.Peduto (6-5) PAID

M.Lamb (3-1) LOST

J.Wagner (7-5) LOST

L.Ravenstahl (30-1) LOST

J.Ferlo (9-2) LOST

D.Onorato (25-1) LOST

D.Harris (9-1) LOST

R.Burgess (9-1) LOST

J.Wheatley (20-1) LOST

ORIE-ZAPPALA WAR

Jo.Orie convicted 1-1 PAID

Ja.Orie convicted PAID
Jo.Orie off bench PAID

L.RAVENSTAHL INDICTMNT

by 12/31/2012 8-1 LOST

***CURRENT LINES*****

***********************

US PRESIDENT 2015
H.Clinton 4-1
C.Christie 8-1

D.Patrick 15-1

C.Booker 15-1

any Bush 20-1

J.Biden 20-1

P.Ryan 20-1

M.Rubio 20-1

R.Perry 20-1

T.Cruz 20-1

S.Palin 99-1

R.Santorum 99-1

Republican 4-3

Democrat 3-5

Third party 15-1

PA GOVERNOR 2014

Republican 1-1

T.Corbett (1-1) 5-4

Democrat 3-2

FIRST TO OCCUR

Big Ben paternity suit 6-1

Mrs. Big Ben splits 3-1

Ravenstahl arrested 3-1

UPMC is non-nonprofit 6-1

Palin kid a college grad 12-1

Obama on Supreme Ct 30-1

Rooneys pay for something 40-1

FIRST FIRED

M.Huss (3-1) 2-1

T.Corbett (4-1) 2-1

F.Coonelly 4-1

R.Coury 6-1

J.Romoff 10-1

M. Tomlin 12-1

HEINZ LEAVES BURGH

by 12/31/2013 7-1

by 12/31/2014 4-1

by 12/31/2015 2-1

by 12/31/2016 1-1

by 6/31/2017 2-3

by 12/31/2017 1-3

2013 PIRATES

winning season (5-2) 3-2

payroll dump 2-5

trade Cutch 3-1

trade Alvarez 3-2

>1 All-Star 1-1

INSOLVENCITY PARKING

PRIVATEERING
by 12/31/13 (8-1) 10-1
by 12/31/14 (7-1) 10-1
NEXT STEELERS ARREST

B.Roethlisberger 5-1

P.Burress 5-1
J.Harrison (6-1) LOST
S.McBeam 10-1
any Rooney 25-1
M.Tomlin 99-1
Field 1-1

PROPOSITIONS TERMS
****************
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PROPOSITIONS POINTERS
The number expressed after a proposition identifies the line, or ratio by which wagers for that proposition would be paid upon occurrence of the proposed event. A line of 2-1 indicates that a dollar successfully wagered would generate a $2 winning (with return of the $1 wagered, for an aggregate payment of $3). A line of 1-1 indicates that a dollar successfully wagered would generate a $1 winning (with return of the $1 wagered, for an aggregate payment of $2). A line of 3-5 indicates that a successful $5 wager would generate a $3 winning (and aggregate payment of $8). The greater the ratio the first number bears to the second, the less likely the proposed event is expected to occur.)
Examples:
99-1 extreme odds; remote probability
15-2 high odds; low probability
1-1 even odds; 50-50 probability
2-15 low odds; high probability
1-99 extreme odds; overwhelming probability

Infinonymous

Sunday, August 30, 2009

How To Succeed In Life Without Really Trying

2 comments:

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