Thursday, November 4, 2010

Unsolicited Advice Series: LAZ Parking

Gentlemen:

If you wish to induce InsolvenCity councilors to consider (let alone approve) any revised form of parking asset lease, refrain from enlisting Rev. Ricky Burgess as a co-sponsor of the associated council bill. Also, try to avoid circumstances in which councilors in the to-be-persuaded category learn of the proposal by reading a newspaper.

The fee for this indispensable advice is a bargain: One-tenth of whatever you're paying the local geniuses who guided your interactions with the mayor and council so far. Please use e-mail (center column) to indicate where to send the Infinvoice.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

ROTFLMAO

Mr. Alan Lazowski said...

Due to recent unexpected major losses we could not presently afford to pay you a tenth of what we are paying our local advisers. Would you possibly consider one million dollars?

Also, just in case, can you recommend good local trial lawyer, preferable one with experience suing government officials and their alleged friends?

Thank you very much

Anonymous said...

Selena:

Your blog is humorous and even sometimes accurate!

Anonymous said...

Infinon:

But then other people call you Connie!!

LOL

Infinonymous said...

You guys understand that Infinonymous can determine the sources of comments, especially from city computers, right?

The comment from 3:43 p.m. was not sent from a LAZ Parking computer; it originated in Pittsburgh, sent by someone who is not Mr. Alan Lazowski (but who is somewhat humorous).

LAZ Parking did check in at 11:33 p.m., however (using a BlackBerry, from Glastonbury CT). No comment, though. Nor an e-mail, at least not so far.

MH said...

Kids today need spoon-fed information. Your neighbor has a wireless network and the password is the name of the dog that leaves giant turds in your yard.

Rex said...

Infi-

Just because some of us may disagree with you doesn't mean that your blog isn't usually well thought out, extremely well-written and entertaining as hell.

For instance - "Scenes from an underpass" was probably one of the funniest pieces of writing I've ever read on a loca blog, surpassed only by "Scenes from the LeMont" and my all-time favorite, "Scenes from Gateway Tower on a Sunday morning"

Anyone remember Candy?

None of that is to say I trust you with the City's public policy, but were I a candidate for ublic office, or the Chairman of the County or State Democratic Party that I wouldn't sue you just to find out who you are so I could retain your services.

Connie said...

Selena:

I think maybe they're on to us.

Connie

Selena said...

Con:

You sure? How in the hell did that happen?

Selena

Connie said...

Selena:

They've been talking about it for weeks, and did you read the comments a couple up from here?

Just to be safe, u think maybe we should stay out of Jimmie D's-Diesel-S Bar for a few weeks - u know how luke is when he gets drunk...plus that way we won't get towed!

Lemme know

Connie

Bram Reichbaum said...

Too late, I'm all over this:

LINK

Selena said...

Con:

C'mon, you had to know they'd figure it out. They're really smart. Plus they got degrees from schools with two names, like Washington AND Jefferson or Robert AND Morris. Face it - it was just a matter of time, girl.

Let's not overreact. Maybe they won't do nothin.

Selena

Selena said...

Con

Oh, and don't worry about that South Side parking thingie. On election night, down on Carson, one of my girlfriends heard Luke say he was gonna put a stop to that police stuff down there quick. I think one of his cop posse guys wrote it down.

Selena

Selena said...

Con

Oh, and don't worry about that South Side parking thingie. On election night, down on Carson, one of my girlfriends heard Luke say he was gonna put a stop to that police stuff down there quick. I think one of his cop posse guys wrote it down.

Selena

MH said...

So, everybody except me knows everybody?