Monday, March 29, 2010

Notice To Santonio Playas: No Arrest, No Payout

PROPOSITIONS BOARD NOTICE: Today's installment of "The Steelers Way" (time to retire that "higher standards" line, Coach -- although Santonio does set a standard of sorts) does NOT affect Propositions Board (far right column) tickets. The lines concern arrests -- not police investigations, lawsuits, settlements, consent decrees or anything else short of handcuffs.

Otherwise, there wouldn't be enough hours in the day to keep up with adjusting those lines. Unless and until Santonio Holmes is arrested, hold those tickets.

Also, given the multitude of incidents, a clarification: The time of arrest -- not the time of the underlying offense or any collateral development (lineup, lawsuit, cell phone photo) -- governs all "Next Steelers Arrest" wagers. In other words, if a wide receiver gets arrested before, say, a quarterback, it doesn't matter which guy smacked which of the "bitches" first.

UPDATE: An astute Infinonyreader suggests that Holmes is merely campaigning to join Jeff Reed (left) and Ben Roethlisberger (right) as Steelers captains.

UPPERDATE: Luke should tell the Sports and Exhibition Authority to come up with up a grant for the Steelers to improve their hard-to-read website. Otherwise, yinzers' cataracts could bankrupt Obamacare.

UPPERERDATE: Had anyone offered to wager, before this morning, that PittGirl and this site would have used identical photographs today, that bet would have returned a few bucks. But had someone put a hundred behind the proposition that the Infinonyverse would feature full frontal Santoniosity (indirectly) while Pitt Girl refrained . . . two armored cars couldn't have held the winnings.

1 comment:

oh my said...

Speaking for female readers, was it really a good idea to link to that picture of a naked man?

OK, well, maybe it was

thank you

but don't forget - some of us are at work :)