Residents of Greater Insolvency may be excused for exhibiting a lack of excitement with respect to candidates set to appear on Tuesday's ballots, but lackluster candidates should not be enough to disincline a citizen to exercise a hard-won entitlement to vote. So hold your nose and push the pixels in these directions:
Allegheny County Executive: The best news associated with this Election Day is that citizens will soon be rid of Dan Onorato (left, with junior aide), under whose lack of leadership the County of Allegheny is in shambles, acutely failing nearly everyone who comes in contact with county government and chronically violating the United States Constitution and fundamental decency. The sole consolation for those who will elect half-heartedly Infindorsed Rich Fitzgerald to succeed Onorato is a slim hope that Fitzgerald's coziness with Onorato policies and playmates will be cast aside in January, when Onorato is to become an unproductive lobbyist collecting a six-figure reward for eight years of favors funded by taxpayers. Republican Raja, an unattractive candidate, deserves sympathy -- he has paid dearly for being duped by Republican Party leadership and by a sleazy set of campaign consultants -- but not votes.
Allegheny County Controller: After overcoming a familial connection with ugly InsolvenCity politics to become a worthwhile legislator, and overcoming her most worthy competition by defeating Valerie McDonald Roberts in the primary, Chelsa Wagner has earned the Infindorsement.
Allegheny County Treasurer: A small-town pol of the type that has shackled our region for decades, but a likeable and relatively effective one, John Weinstein carries the Infindorsement with him to victory on Tuesday.
Allegheny County District Attorney: Jordan Miles merits the Infindorsement; incumbent Steven A. Zappala Jr. is far too conflicted to deserve the additional term of office oblivious voters will provide on Tuesday.
Allegheny County Council: Infindorsed candidates are John DeFazio (Democratic at-large), Edward Kress (Republican at-large, although Republicans were silly enough to nominate tiresome but loud ineffectiveness embodied by partisan flamethrower Heather Heidelbaugh), District 2's Jan Rea, District 5's Vince Gastgeb, District 6's John Palmiere, District 10's William Robinson, District 11's Barbara Daly Danko, and District 13's Amanda Hawkins Green. In the sole contested race, in which Republican Michael Dell offers unsophisticated but well-meaning opinions against Nick Futules' proven insipidity, the Infindorsement belongs to Michael Dell, largely because Futules chose cowardice over conviction (an easy call for someone who lacks conviction) in ducking the drink tax vote.
Pittsburgh City Council: Infindorsees Darlene Harris (District 1), Bruce Kraus (District 3), and Dr. Patrick Dowd (District 7) are a flawed and fractious bunch, but they appear to constitute the principal hope for averting catastrophe in InsolvenCity until a competent mayor takes office. With Natalia Rudiak, Bill Peduto, and District 5 rookie Corey O'Connor (who holds an Infindorsement crafted entirely of hope), they possess a responsibility to forge a durable coalition against List-Maker predations and parking privateers.
Pennsylvania Superior Court: David Wecht was chosen for the bench too young, primarily on name recognition, but needs only outpace a lame Republican to get the Infindorsement and easily meets that standard.
Pennsylvania Commonwealth Court: Kathryn Boockvar is too young for an appellate position, but is nonetheless plainly preferable to her opponent and therefore takes the Infindorsement to the polls.
Judicial retention (Pennsylvania): Voters should consider retaining Infindorsed judges Renee Cohn Jubelirer and Mary Hannah Leavitt (Commonwealth Court). Voters should push the "reset" button and create vacancies with respect to the judicial positions currently entrusted to Michael Eakin (Supreme Court), John Bender and Mary Janes Bowes (Superior Court), and Robin Simpson (Commonwealth Court)
Judicial retention (Allegheny County): The Infindorsed candidates for retention are Kathleen Durkin and Randal Todd. Voters should thank David Cashman, Guido DeAngelis, Michael A. Della Vecchia for their judicial service with a vote to return them to the pool of local pols.
Library funding referendum (City of Pittsburgh): Although a county-wide funding mechanism -- such as Regional Asset District revenues, which would be adequate for this purpose were relevant board members to refrain from self-promoting, hypocritical ass-kissing in the form of iniquitous subsidization of entertainments preferred by the tuxedoed corporate class -- would be preferable, we encourage InsolvenCity voters to recall the wisdom of Emil Faber ("Knowledge is Good") and support public libraries by voting to enact a modest tax.
Infytune: Salt Of The Earth, Keith Richards and Mick Jagger
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Infytune: Won't Get Fooled Again, The Who
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