Monday, October 10, 2011

A Couple Of Suggestions For Occupy Pittsburgh

As the Occupiers attempt to establish position in Pittsburgh, we fear that two factors could predictably interfere with the group's effectiveness. The first is inefficiency (counterproductive egalitarianism of the type that generates 90-minute discussions concerning whether to mention God in a mission statement), the second ineffectiveness (amateurism can be endearing but also hapless).

We therefore offer a couple of suggestions, developed without a seven-hour meeting but with an aim of message, publicity, simplicity, lawfulness, and feasibility:

1. Occupy the privileged portion of Sixth Avenue fronting the Duquesne Club (325), public property which Pittsburgh and its police enable a tycoons' social club to use as a private parking lot for the pampered. Surround a scofflaw Benz or Bentley and chant "Why Do Millionaires Park For Free? The Answer Is Luke And The FOP."

2. Occupy the lovely, leafy stretch of Devonshire Street fronting the University of Pittsburgh chancellor's residence (718), using sleeping bags to illustrate that Devonshire is an especially comfortable street -- for the privileged and subsidized. Chant "Why Is A Millionaire's House Tax-Free? Ask The Guy From Pitt and UPMC."

Can anyone explain why the parcel occupied by the Pitt chancellor's residence is listed out of order at the county real estate website, making it unusually difficult to find, or why so little information about the property is provided?

If Occupiers would like other suggestions, let us know.

Infytune: Power To The People, John Lennon
Infytune: For What It's Worth, Buffalo Springfield
Infytune: Revolution, Beatles


Anonymous said...

Or perhaps occupying the land on the North Shore that the Stadium Authority is giving away for a song to a developer who has a long history of delaying development and accepting public funds while undercutting local wages.

Infinonymous said...

Patience, grasshopper. This will be a series.

Bram Reichbaum said...

"Counterproductive egalitarianism": Word, and oy vey.

Anonymous said...

Lets have your other suggestions if they ask for them or not. I want to hear them. So far they are great!!

Chad said...

This blog at its contrarian best. (And that's saying something.)

Can't wait for the rest of the series...

Anonymous said...

Worst than tax free is the UPMC occupied property on which they not only don't pay taxes but for which they never paid the city.

Anonymous said...

Go to USX Tower and chant "Act like your name and ROAM OFF"