Pittsburgh's G20 Soundtrack: #9

The police roust a bunch of spork-and-tofu-wielding peaceniks, just because they can.

The harder-edged dissidents vandalize police vehicles . . . in a police station parking lot . . . to demonstrate that they can.

A pattern develops early.

Jackson Browne's anthem of an earlier generation of protesters remains relevant three decades later, at #9 on the Pittsburgh G20 soundtrack (and on Infinonyvision, center column):
Before The Deluge.

Pittsburgh's G20 Soundtrack: #10

Just like a Scorcese film, Pittsburgh's G20 experience deserves a good soundtrack.

I understand the Secret Service has informed local officials that, with the notable exceptions of the Convention Center, the William Penn Hotel and the immediate vicinity of the President of the United States, the feds could not care less what happens in or to Pittsburgh during the G20 event.

In other words, Luke and Dan, 'How does it feel ... to be on your own?'

Number 10 on the G20 hit parade (Infinonyvision, center column), and, according to Rolling Stone, the greatest song, period:
Like A Rolling Stone.

As Bruce Springsteen observed when inducting Dylan into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame: "The first time I heard Bob Dylan, I was in the car with my mother listening to WMCA, and on came that snare shot that sounded like somebody had kicked open the door to your mind."

Here comes that snare, Pittsburgh.

Today's G20=Apocalypse Sign, With Buses

Government's attitude should be a large factor governing Pittsburgh's G20 experience. So far, the signals are unsettling. Two incidents are illustrative.

The Seeds of Peace Collective arrived in Pittsburgh by bus -- a bus (left) equipped to prepare meals for G20 demonstrators. Its bus, parked legally in Oakland, was towed. After aggravation, delay and a $200 payment, the bus was returned.

Meanwhile, a group of visiting politicians departed downtown Pittsburgh by bus, on a happy-talk tour led by Dan Onorato. Their bus bypassed Oakland, and nearly all of real-life Pittsburgh, by a special-dispensation trip along the East Busway. After an all-you-can-swallow bullshit buffet (right), the visiting dignitaries pronounced themselves impressed by the small, misleading sliver of Allegheny County they had been shown.

When power serves itself (busway) and abuses others (towing),
some people notice, some people object, and some people do something about it. Slickly packaged delusions of adequacy are probably enough to snow a busload of county commissioners from Iowa and planning officials from Wyoming, but I doubt that will suffice in Pittsburgh next week. I am increasingly convinced that it will be the protesters, not the authorities, who control the situation downtown (and beyond).

America's counterculture has long favored buses, but I suspect not everyone headed for Pittsburgh will be Merry Pranksters (left).

I therefore believe that, unless local officials promptly exhibit an against-their-grain change in attitude, the G20 could become Pittsburgh's Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.

Do I sense a faint echo of the '60s? Cue the soundtrack.

Infinonymous' Unauthorized G20 Survival Guide

We won't know until next week whether hosting the G20 is to be much ado about nothing or much doo-doo on everything, but it is not too early for everyday Pittsburghers to prepare to avoid paying personal prices for regional folly.

1. If you can avoid the City of Pittsburgh next week, do so (unless you want to observe what I expect to be a crafty and even entertaining contingent of protesters, and are willing to sustain the associated risks). I do not expect the disruptions to be exclusive to, or even focused on, downtown. Oakland, Fox Chapel and the North Side are natural targets; the South Side might be rough if young pranksters head there to unwind after a long day of city-wrecking.


2. If you can not avoid working in the city, dress down. A suit-and-tie target may be irresistible to an anarchist. A black t-shirt is always in style. And may I suggest the Rivithead RIOT-20, the official urban assault boot of the Pittsburgh G20?


3. If you can not avoid driving in the city, leave the Laguna blue M3 and its specialty rims in the garage. I wouldn't even park any car worth more than $15,000 on a City of Pittsburgh street for 15 minutes next week. If I go anywhere near downtown, I will rent a car (and, for once, buy the superfluous insurance).
4. If you must work in a downtown building next week, take a bag of nonperishable food, water, a few toiletries and any personal essentials (medication, contact lens solution). If you think that hottie down in IT might be caught empty-handed, take enough to share.


5. If you venture downtown -- and I may visit just to watch -- patronize local, independent businesses instead of chain restaurants and corporate retailers. I suspect you will be less likely to have lunch with a pepperspray chaser at the Lemon Grass Cafe or Weiner World than at McCormick & Schmick's or The Capital Grille.


6. Do not rely on easy or quick movement. Occupants of a building near the Convention Center have been told to expect three-hour security procedures. (They also were told to expect sniper fire if they are observed moving in their offices after dark.)


7. Be especially nice to police officers. They did not approve or arrange this clustermuck; they are merely doing their jobs, and they likely will be anxious. And unusually well armed.
   

That's it for now. If I think of anything else, I will let you know. Some of this is merely common sense, and some pointers -- favoring local restaurants over subsidized national chains, treating police officers well -- are always applicable. But I believe Pittsburgh is unlikely to be prepared for devoted pranksters (or worse). In general, I would neither underestimate the ingenuity or resolve of protesters nor rely on the planning and performance of local government officials. President Obama should be fine; the Secret Service can handle this. Pittsburgh? We'll see.

Values Voter Summit: Goobers and Boobs

The God-gays-guns goobers are conducting a "Values Voter Summit" featuring heavy-hitter conservative speakers such as Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney and Mitch McConnell, but, by all accounts, the biggest ovation went to Carrie Prejean (left, trying to decide her favorite Scriptural admonition on values), who became a national sensation by rambling through an "opposite marriage" dissertation at the 2009 Miss USA pageant.

In other words, the "values voter" dream girl is a fake-boobed, bottle-blonde, semi-literate, prevaricating tittie-photo model who courts notoriety by preening across stages in bikinis.

My Reflexive Thought Owes Luke An Apology

This P-G headline : Mayor names LGVT council

caused me to wonder for a moment whether the Ravenstahl administration's lack of familiarity with Democratic causes had caused it to mix vegetarians in with lesbians, gays and the transgendered when forming a new advisory group. Tough luck, MacYapper; the article indicates it's just a typo.

UPDATE: The botched headline is still displayed at the P-G website as of 9 p.m. Friday. This suggests (a) no one at the Post-Gazette visits this website and/or (b) no one at the Post-Gazette reads Early Returns.

Today's G20=Apocalypse Sign, With Preppy

The Comet spotlights a swashbuckling comment at PittGirl's place:

59. Greg Says:
I’ll be coming into town those 2 days, not to protest, but to WORK.

I pity the protester who pisses me off.

Nuff said.

Greg sounds like one tough customer, just the guy to loosen his tie, drape his Brooks Brothers jacket over Muffy's arm, collect his Young Republican thoughts and wade into a G20 scrum.

I just hope a reporter is on the scene to interview Greg's flash grenade-stunned, Rivithead-stomped, feces-flecked, teargassed, urine-soaked carcass as the police drag him to safety.

Contemplating Greg's big debate next week, I found some aptly named footwear for the fashionable anarchist planning to visit Pittsburgh for the G20: The Rivithead RIOT-20 5-strap, 20-eyelet, steel-toed black leather urban assault boot with augmented heel (left).

UPDATE: Anti-Flag's G20 concert is off.

Propositions Board Activity

DEMOCRATIC GUBERNATORIAL PRIMARY: Scranton mayor Chris Doherty earns a line by announcing a campaign structure. Dan Onorato slips a notch consequent to Judge Wettick's apparent disinclination to permit unconstitutional property taxation to drift until a time more hospitable to Onorato's political aspirations.

ACKLIN-HARRIS SIGNATURE CHALLENGE: 'Acklin admits role' tickets declared losers; Ravensthal, GOP involvement tickets also are losers.

RAVENSTAHL INDICTMENT: Combination of rapidly compressing calendar and lack of new U.S. Attorney has raised odds against indictment by Election Day; longer-term odds unchanged.

PENNA. BUDGET ENACTMENT: Wagering horizon expanded, to include November.

COUNTY REASSESSMENT: New lines posted on timing of Wettick-ordered-deadline for new assessments, imposition of new assessments. Wettick-issued stay tickets declared losers.

The wagering window is open; please make bets using the comments feature.

Battle of Lancaster: A Draw

Courtweeterer Bob Mayo reports an apparent draw in the initial courtroom battle concerning G20 protests. District Judge Gary Lancaster ordered the city to permit Code Pink to protest at Point State Park but rejected the Thomas Merton Center's request for a similar order enabling protests on the Seventh Street Bridge and overnight camping on city parkground.

(I assume that, after determining that the city's decision to award a permit to State Sen. Jim Ferlo while denying a similar permit to Code Pink was not content-based, Judge Lancaster returned to his native planet.)

This is merely an initial skirmish, even if the Merton Center does not appeal. I understand complaints and motions filed next week are likely to be assigned to District Judge Joy Conti. I also continue to believe that Chief Judge Donetta Ambrose will participate before the war concludes.

UPDATE: The Tribune-Review's initial report describes a curious line of reasoning from Judge Lancaster:

U.S. District Judge Gary Lancaster said the advance of modern technology has given activists several alternate ways to get their message to the public, so restricting their proximity to the Group of 20 economic summit doesn't violate their First Amendment right to protest the meeting. . . . In particular, a march by the Thomas Merton Center from Oakland to the City-County Building, Downtown, doesn't have to end in a rally on the Seventh Street Bridge to receive media coverage, the judge said. The protesters can also send messages directly to the public through Web sites and online videos, he said.

Viewed from that perspective, the entire giant clustermuck that is G20 Pittsburgh could have been avoided by arranging secure conference calls, video linkups, dedicated Facebook pages, special Twitter accounts and coordinated UPS delivery of goodie bags for the relevant heads of state. I do not expect Judge Lancaster's novel analytical approach to gain traction; it might not even survive an appeal.

Mayoral Allegory: Fielding Potter's Questions

Chris Potter, one of my favorite local journalists, deserves answers to some questions deriving from a recent exchange of observations concerning the Pittsburgh mayoral campaign.

I do not argue (or believe) that there is no chance for Harris (right) or Acklin (left)to win. (Just check the Propositions Board.) I believe there is a measurable but small chance, associated primarily with a showstopping scandal featuring the boy mayor. I believe Acklin and Harris have diminished that prospect inexplicably and substantially, however, by (a) splitting the anti-incumbent vote and (b) devoting resources to childish skirmishes that could have been directed toward engaging in the research that could produce a showstopper.

Winning isn't the only thing in elections. Acklin and/or Harris could be building name recognition, enjoying the race, or attempting to attact attention to issues. Acklin's candidacy could be designed as a step toward enabling Republicans to participate in city politics. Either could be a tool of Ravenstahl (knowingly or not). But, at a practical level, I believe they are jockeying to be next in line if Luke Ravenstahl capsizes.

Each seems smart enough to recognize that campaigning for city council president would probably be a better method of pursuing the mayor's office.

Pittsburgh Mayoral Race: More Ado About Little

City Paperer Chris Potter reviews the Acklin-Harris signature challenge to gauge what "these petitions say about the candidates," and concludes that (1) Kevin Acklin has the more sophisticated campaign and (2) Dok Harris' "real problem" is that he lacks a strong grassroots campaign.

In other words, the guy who lost won, and the guy who won lost. Or something like that.

Here's Harris' real problem, and it is Acklin's real problem, too: Neither Acklin nor Harris is going to win unless . . . well, I was going to write 'unless Ravenstahl gets indicted before the election' (a 12-1 shot, as the Propositions Board indicates at the far right column), but I suspect Ravenstahl could beat these two even if indicted.

The only chance Acklin or Harris has to win this election involves a debilitating scandal afflicting the incumbent, one so severe it can penetrate the yinzer cortex. Acklin would have been much smarter, in my judgment, to direct his resources toward identifying Ravenstahl wrongdoing, but instead he chose to hire lawyers to scrutinize the penmanship of voters who signed Harris' petitions. That does not strike me as the work of a sophisticated political operation.

Wettick Gives County One-Month Reprieve

The Post-Gazette and Tribune-Review report that Allegheny County Solicitor Michael Wojcik today told assessment czar Judge Wettick not to expect new assessment figures before the FAA issues airworthiness certificates to pigs before Dan Onorato (and the solicitor) depart county government, one way or the other before late 2011.

The plaintiffs' lawyers expressed the view that a constitutional assessment structure could be arranged within four months.

Judge Wettick indicated that if the litigants can't resolve the gap -- four months against two years -- by October 19, he will begin to do it for them on that date.

One way to ensure that the county is doing its best to stop abusing property owners in violation of the state constitution would be to prevent the county from collecting any property taxes until a lawful system is in place. Our over-under on the date the county would be ready in that circumstance: The date on which the next tax bills are to be mailed.

The 'county in contempt' lines on the Propositions Board (far right column) move back one month, but are otherwise unchanged.

Borlaug: Not Just The Greatest Man You've Never Heard Of; Maybe The Greatest, Period.

Dr. Norman E. Borlaug, who died over the weekend at 95, was among the handful of greatest and most consequential human beings ever to inhabit Earth. (I currently can not think of anyone greater, but am open to suggestions.)

Any religion that does not venerate this man within a year will have been revealed as a pathetic fraud.

Today's G20=Apocalypse Sign, With Anarchists

Mindful of Hunter Thompson's enduring wisdom ('when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro'), I included in my original G20 forecast (in May) a suggestion that an Anti-Flag concert would be appropriate: "My Take: . . . Book Justin Sane."

As of today, the music calendar at Songs In The Key Of Touche includes this line:

09.24 Anti-Flag G-20 Welcoming Party @ Club Zoo

Finally, someone has planned for the G20 properly.

I expect the local boys to welcome the G20 with fitting style. I also hope to score free tickets and a handshake from Justin, because it was my idea.

County: Dog Ate Our Copy Of The Constitution. Wettick: Tough. My Office, Monday Morning.

I don't know enough about physics to understand how any matter -- let alone one of the most important elements of matter in Allegheny County -- could inhabit a Null Space, but that is precisely what appears to be occurring here: Judge R. Stanton Wettick (right) has vividly signaled the exhaustion of his tolerance for Allegheny County's rope-a-dope tactics regarding unconstitutionally unfair property taxation.

As lawyers seeking overdue relief for the county's long-abused taxpayers requested a hearing and expedited discovery, county solicitor Mike Wojcik responded by letter to Judge Wettick's invitation to attend a hearing to discuss compliance with a Wettick-ordered (and state Supreme Court-affirmed) reassessment requirement, informing the court that the county deemed the court-appointed hearing date inconvenient.

Judge Wettick responded, by terse scrawl on Wojcik's letter, concisely and forcefully: The hearing is to be conducted as scheduled, with sheriff's deputies no doubt standing by to assist any county representative who requires assistance in finding the way to Judge Wettick's courtroom at the appointed hour.

Among the attending county representatives might be new (but, until now, unnoticed) Chief Assessment Officer Edward Schoenenberger, who interviewed for the position in September 2008 and now occupies the office (largely in absentia, according to Mr. Wojcik). (I use "might" because Mr.Schoenenberger reportedly quit as assessor in Harlan, Iowa, in 2006 "after six weeks on the job, citing a 'hostile environment' in the courthouse.")

A sidebar to this story is the obvious decline of conditions at the Post-Gazette. I have already documented the lack of a Google-compatible Intertubes apparatus (right) in the P-G newsroom (and even proposed a solution). Now, it appears, the situation is so dire that no one at the Post-Gazette can spare the energy or shoe leather needed to walk from Allies-at-Commonwealth to the City-County Building, at which location court dockets (such as this one) are available for inspection without charge and without need of any technological device more advanced than a pair of bifocals.

Unless the ossified and ineffectual local power structure Allegheny Conference intends to being relying exclusively on Bill Flanagan as its mouthpiece, it should consider sending hardtack-and-jerky rations to the P-G editorial page editors immediately.

I expect Judge Wettick to conduct a blunt and consequential proceeding on September 14 (illustrations of why Judge Wettick and the plaintiffs are likely to press the county to begin to act lawfully without delay are here and here); I do not necessarily expect to read about it in the Post-Gazette, but perhaps The Comet or Null Space will cover it.

UPDATE: Wagering lines on 'county in contempt' likely to be adjusted soon (Propositions Board, far right column); if you like a currently posted line, bet now (using the 'comment' function).