Sunday, August 28, 2011

What In Hell Is Wrong With People?

Among the 32 searches that delivered readers to Infinonymous most frequently today, substantially more than half involved these at least one of these elements:

1. joanna doven
2. someone holding a 40 of captain morgan / lambs navy rum
3. hogtied man / woman / lesbians
4. ashlie hardway
5. sewerology [??]
6. handcuffs blonde
7. virginia montanez
8. carrie prejean [redacted]
9. pittsburgh police garrett brown
10. be like a dancing bear
11. natalie gulbis [redacted]
12. where to buy sixpacks in pittsburgh
13. luke ravenstahl rumors / carson street / blonde

What in hell is wrong with people?

And, because we are pretty sure we never use "sewerology," what in hell is wrong with Google?

Infytune: Crazy, Gnarls Barkley


MH said...

1, 2, 10, & 12 sound about right.

Vannevar said...

It's the newest passive-aggro technique of sending an InfyMessage- instead of emailing a tip, do a Google query that points to the blog, just to see if Infy's discovered the story yet. Because in the end, Infy gets the story.

For instance, suppose you believe something like "Acme relocating to Cleveland", or "Mr. XYZ is a _______". For instance, "Ralph is a furry"(nttawwt). And you wonder, does Infy know about this?

So you Google, "pittsburgh infinonymous Ralph is a Furry" and click on one of the resulting links. Nothing there yet. Maybe you do that four or five times a day.

Maybe a couple of other people are also wondering when Infy will find out about FurryGate, and they also start checking Google with their own variations: "pittsburgh infinonymous Ralph animal costumes"

When the Industrious InfyStaff checks the server records, they'll see that different people came in with those search strings and they'll wonder if there's anything going on. They do a Google check and find that Ralph never appears in any photos with the Furries; maybe it's the Superman-Clark-Kent thing?

This is how Google recognizes flu epidemics before the medics do. One person's query is whack. Ten people asking about the same thing means the "crowd wonders". And sometimes, smoke > fire > furry.

So the real question is, what's the chaff/noise and what's the wheat/signal, and what are the common themes presented in the search strings? Is there a pattern among the dots?

Lady Elaine said...

Van--I wish I could understand you sometimes.

Infinonymous said...

We customarily prefer to avoid discussion of methods and sources.

Just sayin' said...

Anybody else notice the love-fest between Infynonymous and non-anonymous Post Gazette blogger Chad Herman lately? How about the fact that both of them used the word uncannily (kinda an uncommon word wouldn't ya think) talking about Mayor Luke and the flooding??

Just sayin'

Connie said...

Hey, Selena, who's this Chad guy?

Selena said...

Connie: I don't know, but I'm definitely going to look into it. That "uncannily" thing is awful fishy.


JenEngland said...

Van, fascinating. I have to admit, that's new to me. I guess I'm just not that devious. But it does open possibilities, doesn't it...

Uncle Illy said...

I'm going to do a Google search for Connie, Selena and Infinonymous (might as well throw in Lynette), just to see what comes up.

Anonymous said...

Can't we leave poor Natalie Gulbis alone?

Infinonymous said...

Poor Natalie. She let Ben get away . . . and all the trappings. Big church wedding. Life together in Christ. Adoring fans throughout the city. Every luxury money could buy. Luxury box, home and away. A private police force. Late-night calls from outraged fathers of college girls. The occasional inquiry from law enforcement investigators . . .