Friday, July 23, 2010

The Highly Predictable Life Of Joanna Doven

Mayoral mouthpiece Joanna Doven dismisses as "predictable" the criticisms recently aimed by several Pittsburgh councilors at the parking concession proposal advanced by her boss the people manipulating her boss' strings. That criticism is likely to continue until a rickety majority of councilors -- some well-meaning, some not, all clueless -- approves the InsolvenCity Parking Garage Sale.

Here are some other things that are predictably a part of Ms. Doven's future:

1) She will join the list of those interviewed by Federal Bureau of Investigation agents concerning events associated with the mayor's office.

2) She will write a resume describing work for a "Mayor of Pittsburgh" but omitting identification of that mayor by name.

3) She will wonder why people keep mentioning Kevin Bacon's final scene in Animal House (on the sidewalk: "All is well"), and chuckling, as she walks away from them.

4) She will receive an invitation to her college graduating class' five-year reunion, at which gathering she will ask the recent law school grads to explain "qualified immunity."

5) She will encounter less competition for space on downtown sidewalks, for tables at InsolvenCity restaurants (suggested press release: "Why wait 45 minutes for a table in the suburbs when you can be seated at any downtown restaurant immediately"), and for parking spots in city business districts as Pittsburgh empties out.

Infinonytune: Shout, Otis Day & The Knights


Bram Reichbaum said...

Dang. I just lost big money that the next Ininonytune would be, "She Talks to Angels."

MH said...

Infi's in luv.

Anonymous said...

Why no snark on the Ories and their "clairaudient"?

Not to mention that Jane's using the excuse that her having once gotten Law Claus fired is justification for objecting to him prosecuting her. She reminds me of the classic example of chutzpah: Kid cold-bloodedly murders parents, then throws himself on the court's mervy cuz he's an orphan.

Anonymous said...

mercy, not mervy.

Anonymous said...

The predictable life of this website:

1. The same 10 people will keep reading and commenting

2. Everyone the site supports will fail to win elections

3. Site will continue to oppose everything and anything that anyone who actually does win office does and says

4. Site will show its ignorance of politics and the issues by printing lists of "listers" that have no place on the field and are complete ciphers in the scene (but get headlines on blogs by saying bad "stuff" about the Mayor)

Infinonymous said...

So long as the Infindorsed who win tend to be the big ones (Obama, Sestak) and the smart, qualified ones (Ignelzi, Rudiak, Olson), we'll stick with endorsing the better candidate -- which, in one prominent case, was a corpse -- and letting the chips fall.

Thanks for reading.

Bram Reichbaum said...

... and don't count out "Abolish This District" quite yet.

Anonymous said...

Infi 3:28

Laughable my friend. Did you really just say you endorsed Obama????

Infinonymous said...

If you believe the Infindorsement would have gone to a Republican, after the failures of the Bush administration, you are mistaken. If you think it should have gone to McCain-Palin, you are daft.

McCain is a decent fellow, but his policies and politics were wrong for the time, and choosing Palin -- the Michele Zappala Peck of national politics -- was an inexplicable, inexcusable screw-up.

Now, if he had picked Judith Olson (a Republican woman with an education, a record of accomplishment and sound judgment) . . . Obama still would have been the pick for president, but McCain would have demonstrated sound judgment.

Anonymous said...

Joanna Doven comes off as a smart mouthed bitch. Since when has that style of spokesperson snark been tolerated? She's got a major attitude and feels that it's Widdle Wukies office against the world. When will they grow up and "act" like adults? I live in this city and deserve an administration that is open and mature, that seems to like the residences and the job that he fell ass backwards into. It doesn't surprise me that she talks so mean spirited. Do they barricade themselves in that part of Grant street, because they sure conduct themselves with a bunker mentallity!
And by the way, why isn't Rich Lord covering Grant Street?

Anonymous said...

Last I heard Rich Lord was taken off his regular Grant Street beat so that he could spend more time looking into the stuff that could potentially get the Mayor indicted . . .

Infinonymous said...

Patience, grasshoppers.


Anonymous said...

When are you going to go after the Orie witches? Pretty please with sugar on it?

"Harrisburg activist to post 'angel' at Justice Melvin's office"