Altmire And Dowd: It's Lonely Out In Space

Rep. Jason Altmire's sponsorship of hackneyed citizenship-stripping legislation prompts a question: Can anyone confirm whether Altmire and Pittsburgh council member Patrick Dowd attended the same "Fundamentals Of Coalition-Building" class at the Democratic officeholders' academy? First class roster to check would be the one whose instructors were Frank Burns and Paul Bremer.

The List-Makers' List, Inscription The Fifteenth

The twenty-ninth name written by The List-Makers is Natalia Rudiak, inspiring and fledgling councilor of the South, listed as serial frustratrix of Luke the Anointer; summoner of recalcitrant mayoral minions; impertinent inquisitor of Luke the Snowbound; and burgeoning threat to List-Maker aspirations.

The thirtieth name written by The List-Makers is David Morehouse, leader of Penguins, recorded as querier of John the Conflicted; doubter of Charles the Croupier; and rival of William the Chancer.

Two more names enrolled. The List-Makers' List (far right column).

List-Makers Hedging Onorato Bet With Turnpike Appointment As Rendell Approaches His Exit

Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell, as oily a character as one will encounter this side of Popeye the Sailor's girlfriend, is hedging List-Makers' bets (against the likely prospect that Dan Onorato will not be assigning contracts from the governor's office) by proposing that William Lieberman become an engineer on the gravy train serve as a Pennsylvania Turnpike capo commissioner.

Harry Readshaw Becomes Poster Boy For Research On Exposure To Embalming Fluids

State Rep. Harry Readshaw, a graduate of the Pittsburgh Institute of Mortuary Science, suggested this week that rigorous studies are needed to investigate the long-term cognitive effects of exposure to embalming fluids.

The aging Democrat did so not by seeking government funding for such research, but instead by teaming with State Rep. Daryl Metcalf (R-Outer Jesusland) to propose that Pennsylvania emulate Arizona's "papers, please" approach to state-level immigration policy.

Readshaw acknowledged on Marty Griffin's broadcast that he has never knowingly observed an illegal alien in Pennsylvania, yet declared that Pennsylvania could balance its budget by targeting illegal aliens.

An Uplifting Slice of Sporting Life

Grant Whybark could brighten your day.

(Or, it appears, perhaps not.)

The List-Makers' List, Inscription The Fourteenth

The twenty-seventh name written by The List-Makers is Agent Ska, demi-masked provocatrix, inscribed as exposer of Yarone the Electioneer; decrier of Luke the Celebrant; taunter of Luke the Wanderer; peever of Luke the Facilitator; challenger of Luke the Ambiguous; and doubter of Adam the Even Younger.
The twenty-eighth name written by The List-Makers is Jack of the Orie Clan, defender of Orie sisters, recorded as impugner of Stephen the Younger; belittler of Stephen the Elder; flagellator of Gregory the Incarcerator; and accuser of Zappala the Family.

Two more names enrolled. The List-Makers' List (far right column).

The List-Makers' List, Inscription The Thirteenth

The twenty-fifth name written by The List-Makers is Maria Lupinacci, one political junkie, inscribed as mocker of Luke the Wanderer, Luke the Vetoer, Luke the Client, Luke the Joyrider and Luke the Gangsta; denouncer of Luke the Totalitarian and Luke the Broker-Dealer; unmasker of Yarone the Electioneer; and disparager of Adam the Even Younger.

The twenty-sixth name written by The List-Makers is David DeAngelo, another political junkie, recorded as vexer of Luke the Prevaricator and Luke the Retaliator; questioner of Luke the Recipient, Luke the Benevolent and Luke the Reticent; and tormenter of Luke the Wanderer and Luke the Detained.

Two more names enrolled. The List-Makers' List (far right column).

Still Nothing Afoot For Jack Wagner's Campaign

How lame is Jack Wagner's campaign?

The candidate doesn't even merit a pair of flip-flops.

Round-The-Clock Re-Runs Of "Our Region's Business With Bill Flanagan," Anyone?

The folks who constitute the ossified, self-aggrandizing, counterproductive local power structure who have for years devoted a scarce public broadcasting frequency to a 24-hour shopping channel have called dibs on the local National Public Radio affiliate's radio license.

Catholic censorship could begin to look better and better.

Forthright Standards From P-G Editorial Board?

The Post-Gazette denied the ghost of John Murtha 12th District Congressional candidate Mark Critz, left, an endorsement in the Democratic primary because, the editorial board wrote, it would have preferred a "more forthright" exposition of the candidate's positions.

Does this analysis indicate endorsement problems for strenuous hedgers such as Dan Onorato and Luke Ravenstahl? Regular followers of the editorial board can guess.

Propositions Board Update

The Pennsylvania gubernatorial race (Democrats Division) has clarified: Dan Onorato's message money has begun to resonate across the Commonwealth; Anthony Williams' message money can't keep up; Joe Hoeffel money message can't keep up; and Jack Wagner has decided not to run. Propositions Board lines (far right column) have been adjusted accordingly; List-Makers (left) are smiling, at least until November.

The North Shore Uglitheater missed its deadline but Ravenstahl, Onorato and Rendell summoned the compassion to cut the Steelers more slack. What the public won't know is whether its elected representatives scold the Rooneys between Yuenglings in the owners' luxury box during the Browns game. Lines have been closed.

The tightening of Specter-Sestak polls was already factored into the relevant line, which has not changed.

Roethlisberger dodged criminal charges but his civil fate is uncertain, like that of the badges of his private policemen. Criminal lines closed, others unchanged.

Keith Rothfus (right) has moved from "not even a Pat Robertson prayer" territory into a roughly even race with Mary Beth Buchanan for the opportunity to become underdog to wayward Rep. Jason Altmire. Lines have been adjusted accordingly.

The List-Makers' List, Inscription The Twelfth

The twenty-third name written by The List-Makers is Doug Shields, indispensably cranky councilor, recorded as summoner of Luke the Oath-Taker; plaintiff against Luke the Broker-Dealer; inquisitor and restrainer of Luke the Oppressor; critic of Luke the Settler; and constrainer of Luke the Surveiller.

The twenty-fourth name written by The List-Makers is Brian O'Neill, city-chronicling Post-Gazetteer, listed as thorn to Stephen the Elder and Gregory the Incarcerator; critic of Luke the Adolescent; belittler of Luke the Shoveler; questioner of Luke the Broker-Dealer; and mocker of Luke the Road-Tripper.

Two more names enrolled. The List-Makers' List (far right column).

Iceberg Tip Sightings

Even the visible tip of this one has become uncomfortably large.

Most Americans would probably prefer to ignore this one, but it is likely to linger until addressed (one way or another).

A council source spotted this one; similar ones may be on the horizon.

The size of this one indicates one hell of an iceberg.

The List-Makers' List, Inscription The Eleventh

The twenty-first name written by The List-Makers is B.J. Leber, casualty of palace intrigue, listed as irritant of Luke the Plotter; obstacle to Yarone the Ascender; and rival of Dennis the Dull Instrument.

The twenty-second name written by The List-Makers is Mike Ference, the "Mon Dawn," informal and unrestrained raker of mucks by letter and comment, recorded as blisterer of Stephen the Younger; innuender of Gregory the Incarcerator; and, perhaps most interesting, outlandish dredger of List-Maker lagoons.

Two more names enrolled. The List-Makers' List (far right column).

Sunday Reading: Salvation Edition

Nanny-stater prudes: We will kill you to save you.

Foolish warriors: We will kill your children to save our fantasies.

Arizona: We will trample the Constitution to save it.

The Catholic Church: Worth saving?