Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Unsolicited Advice Series: Prospective Arrestees

When a police officer advises you -- consequent to your drunken and disorderly conduct at the premises of a business that has asked you to leave -- that you can leave the easy way or the hard way, avoid any response that contains the phrase, 'the hard way, brother.' (Unless you wish to display your impressive imperviousness to a Taser strike for a nationwide audience, at the cost of being beaten into submission with sticks.)

The next time you are being arrested for unseemly participation in a prominent display of inebriated boorishness at a public event, refrain from yelling 'I work for KDKA and I'm going to fry your asses.' (Unless you wish to depart employment in the broadcasting field for a position in the fry-cook industry.)

Infytune: You Shook Me All Night Long, AC/DC
Infytune: You Shook Me All Night Long, Celine Dion (see-it-to-believe-it version)
Infytune: You Shook Me All Night Long, Shania Twain (black leather and feathery windblown hair version)


JenEngland said...

Oh dear god, why, WHY?? More than wishing I could unhear the Celine Dion version of that song, I wish I could unsee it. *Shudder*

MH said...

I once watched an underage drunk guy basically force the police to arrest him.

Officer: You need to set down that beer and leave.

Underage drunk guy: Can I finish it first?

Officer: You have ten seconds to leave.

UDG: One (takes drink), two (takes drink), three (takes drink)…….

Officer: You have the right to remain silent….

(Maybe the guy was so provoking because he wasn’t underaged, but he was drinking beer on a public street.)

Anonymous said...

The problem is that the police detective involved was Frank Rende.

I would side with just about any other City police officer but him. His past record of poor judgment really makes me wonder if another cop could have diffused the situation without resorting to violence.






Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Best.Infy Tunes.Ever.

Now I gotta go scour my eyeballs.

PK said...

Unless I'm missing it on the KD web site, the station has yet to post anything about the other alleged incident:


Anonymous said...

Does no one question what occurred in light of Detective Frank Rende's past?