A Guide To Distinguishing Braddock Mayor John Fetterman From InsolvenCity Mayor Luke Ravenstahl

These pointers for distinguishing Braddock's John Fetterman from Pittsburgh's Luke Ravenstahl could come in handy if the two busted municipalities ever merge (perhaps arranging an interesting race for mayor):

• Fetterman (left) is the one who raises hell for his constituents to protest a swollen corporate freeloader's abuse of his town; Ravenstahl the one who raises hell with police outside a Steelers game, or repeatedly crashes an event on private property (after being told he isn't welcome) in pursuit of a photo op with a celebrity


• Fetterman is the one who accepts arrest like a man as the cost of civil disobedience; Ravenstahl (right) is the one who uses his elected position to whimper his way out of handcuffs after a drunken scrum with police, or uses his taxpayer-funded police escort to avoid arrest for defiant non-member trespass at a country club


• Fetterman is the one with the Harvard degree; Ravenstahl is the one destined to be subjected to the third degree


• Ravenstahl is the one continuously cocooned by a gangsta-class posse; Fetterman is the one who could break a troublemaker in half with bare hands, then cause Ravenstahl and the posse to faint by saying "boo"


• Fetterman is the one who appears on national television because Stephen Colbert is interested in his ideas and civic leadership; Ravenstahl is the one who appears on national television when the dogs that answer telephones, launch their own treats and pack their own suitcases cancel on Letterman