Infinonymous

A Hopeful Day Brings Happy Music

2012-01-25T17:52:00.009-05:00

Against a persistent background of partisan strife and paralysis, we have witnessed three acts of conciliation in a 24-hour period, perhaps providing a welcome opportunity for Americans to learn, improve, and benefit.

First, President Obama presented a call for cooperation during his State of the Union address; a number of legislators in the audience again broke party seating lines. Both parties' focus on electionyearing is likely to interfere with many opportunities for collaborative progress, but President Obama pulled some partisan punches and there seems reasonable hope that some Republicans could respond productively were the President to offer some consensus-friendly initiatives. The situation in America's government has deteriorated to a point at which even needed legislation on which nearly all can agree is difficult to enact. We experienced a flicker of optimism as some Republicans and some Democrats commented after the President had described the state of our union as "getting stronger."

Next, again on the House of Representatives' legislative floor at the Capitol, a politically ecumenical program this morning celebrated Rep. Gabrielle Giffords' recovery from a horrific, targeted attack by an armed madman -- to a point at which she could deliver her resignation in person -- suggested that members of Congress might be people, too. For a period, it appeared that legislators saw each other not as Republicans or Democrats or liberals or conservatives but instead as fellow Americans.

Those events were scheduled, perhaps even predictable. But then ...

From Harrisburg, this afternoon, arrived the unexpected news that one member of the Pennsylvania Supreme Court -- the chief justice, Ronald Castille -- had broken partisan lines to reject this decade's grotesquely contorted legislative reapportionment map.

Let us hope we are detecting the new pattern. Please listen, and enjoy:

Infytune: People Get Ready, Curtis Mayfield and bandmates
Infytune: Peace Train, Cat Stevens (Yusef Islam)
Infytune: Higher Ground, Stevie Wonder (a blind man, alone)

Infytune: What's So Funny ('Bout Peace, Love, And Understanding), Elvis Costello and bandmates

Springsteen Tour Bypassing InsolvenCity, But Fans Can Still Pull Out Of Here To Win

2012-01-24T11:56:00.007-05:00

Bruce Springsteen has announced an E Street Band schedule that does not include a March 31st concert in Pittsburgh. Anyone desiring a respite from the persistent and lamentable local infestation of country acts could consider these dates for a "pulling out of here to win" trip:

March 28 – Philadelphia – Wells Fargo Center (on sale Jan 28)
March 29 – Philadelphia – Wells Fargo Center (on sale Jan 28)
April 1 – Washington DC – Verizon Center (on sale Jan 28)
April 3 – East Rutherford – Izod Center (on sale Jan 27)
April 4 – East Rutherford – Izod Center (on sale Jan 27)
April 6 – New York – Madison Square Garden (on sale Jan 27)
April 9 – New York – Madison Square Garden (on sale Jan 27)
April 12 – Detroit – The Palace of Auburn Hills (on sale Jan 28)
April 13 – Buffalo – First Niagara Center (on sale Jan 28)
April 17 – Cleveland – Quicken Loans Arena (on sale Jan 28)
May 2 – Newark – Prudential Center (on sale Jan 27)

Infytune: Thundercrack, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
Infytune: Rosalita, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
Infytune: Detroit Medley (Devil With The Blue Dress/Good Golly Miss Molly/CC Rider/Jenny Take A Ride/, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

A Fine Pun Is Detected Today In Null Space, But InsolvenCity's POS Is No Laughing Matter

2012-01-23T17:40:00.010-05:00

Null Space, switching from the reassessment beat to a bad situation, has unveiled (and aptly named) the huge POS that the City of Pittsburgh, apparently addled by delusions of solvency, is presenting to financial markets.

Mainly, it is InsolvenCity's mayor (or at least the leeches who wind his spring) and the city council president (who doesn't even a have a spring to wind) who are responsible for this return to an unsustainable financial trajectory. For the mayor, this offering is designed to promote re-election by funding a bunch of paving projects and (if history guides) self-promoting trashcans. For the city council president, this spending spree was the cost of doing the business of obtaining the mayor-controlled votes among city councilors for her re-election. For everyone else in Pittsburgh -- well, you voted for these knuckleheads, so reach for the Vaseline and hope for the best.

InsolvenCitiers should hope this POS is the final payment by Darlene Harris on her account with the mayor's office.

Infytune: Can't Buy Me Love, The Beatles
Infytune: Gold Digger, Kanye West with Jamie Foxx
Infytune: I Gotta Feeling, Black Eyed Peas

Erin Molchany Dips Toe Into 27th's Murky Water

2012-01-23T12:03:00.004-05:00

Despite her association with the Pittsburgh Urban Magnet Project, we perceive Erin Molchany's expression of interest in the campaign for state representative from the 27th District as a positive development. The seat is currently occupied by Dan Deasy, known principally for using his water authority position to steer profits to List-Makers at ratepayer expense. (With Deasy's help, reptilian scavenger RDM seems to be preparing to rise again from PWSA's brackish pool shortly.)

Infytune: Dirty Water, The Standells

Infinonymous Calls South Carolina's Republican Presidential Primary For President Barack Obama

2012-01-21T23:34:00.016-05:00

Infinonymous declares with confidence, with nearly all precincts reported, that the decisive winner in the 2012 South Carolina Republican presidential primary is President Barack Obama.

Infytune: Let's Stay Together,
Al Green

Reassessment Reminiscences: An Album Of Dan And The County's Greatest Hits Misses

2012-01-16T10:02:00.013-05:00

As sentient citizens begin to sense that Dan Onorato (right, comparing political dreams with Hillary Clinton) sabotaged the most recent reassessment project (at a cost of millions of taxpayers dollars) for selfish political gain, and Judge Wettick regrettably rewards the immoral recalcitrance of fat-cat-feeding conservatives masquerading as Democrats, this seems an appropriate point at which to review (bold type signals the better bits):

Allegheny County's Inaccurate Assessments Violate Constitution, Court Rules

Dan Onorato Foreshadowing County Secession?

Has Judge Wettick Reached His Limit Yet?

Where's The Burning Sense Of Justice?

Synonym For Donkey Found In Assessment

Finding Asses In Assessments

County: Dog Ate Our Copy Of Constitution

Time To Reassess (The County's Legal Position)?

Wettick Gives County One-Month Reprieve

Onorato To Allegheny County Homeowners: If You Want Any Help From Me, Move

Unsolicited Advice Series: Dan Onorato

The Dan Onorato Record On Property Taxes, In Photographs, Video -- And An Elegant Tea House

Beware The Campaign Criticism Boomerang

Fitzgerald Launches Candidacy By Asking Governor To Declare Martial Law On Assessments

The Reassessment Watchdog That Hasn't Barked

Infindorsement: Allegheny County Executive

Apt Assessment: Post-Gazette Pinpoints Perfect Platform For Onorato's Next Political Campaign

A trip to the Null Space archives is always worthwhile for those who like information and insight. Or for city editors wondering how a newspaper would cover this situation.

UPDATE: After reports such as this one, if anything happens to Chris Briem, Rich Fitzgerald and the rest of the gang that couldn't assess fairly will need a strong alibi.

Infytune: Redemption Song, Bob Marley and the Wailers

A Couple Of Questions About Allegheny County's Courtroom Strategy For The Assessments Case

2012-01-10T22:10:00.012-05:00

A couple of questions:

Which law firm recently hired two former clerks to Allegheny County Common Pleas Judge R. Stanton Wettick?

Which law firm was hired by Rich Fitzgerald to defend the indefensible in the assessment litigation assigned to Allegheny County Common Pleas Judge R. Stanton Wettick?

It might be worthwhile to determine when that firm became aware it would be engaged to represent the new Allegheny County administration in Judge Wettick's courtroom, and how many former clerks of Judge Wettick that firm had employed before the assessment litigation commenced.

BONUS QUESTION: Has anyone informed the public about how much taxpayers will pay a law firm to help Rich Fitzgerald try to dodge a unanimous Pennsylvania Supreme Court ruling?

Infytune: With A Little Help From My Friends, Joe Cocker
Infytune: With A Little Help From My Friends, John Belushi
Infytune: Feelin' Alright , Joe Cocker and John Belushi
Infytune: Back Door Man, Howlin' Wolf

Allegheny County Democratic Committee Declares "You're On Your Own This Year, Mr. President"

2012-01-10T14:00:00.014-05:00

The Allegheny County Democratic Committee today announced the appointment -- not the election, the appointment; anyone have a set of bylaws handy? -- of several new officers.

(One curious change involves the treasurer's position; unless a resignation by Edward Abes was not publicized, why was a new treasurer appointed?)

Maintaining tradition, the county committee's statement did not address the long-ambiguous status of Edward Grattan (right) or Jack Cambest (left), which suggests any attempted housecleaning did not involve the sub-basement.

The lineup announced today -- unproven show horses -- sends an unmistakable message to the Obama campaign preparing for the November election: You are entirely on your own, Mr. President, in Allegheny County.

Organizing for America and MoveOn were already doing most of the substantive lifting for Democrats in Allegheny County, but the press release from the Allegheny County Democratic Committee suggests "most" has become "all."

UPDATE: A couple of sources claim that the reorganization did not comply with the committee's written rules ("for a reason," one wrote -- without identifying that reason). Another correspondent states that the average age of the four announced officers is 70, suggesting "somebody out there does not want this Committee to be very active." Our preliminary hunch: the county Democratic Committee just became a redhead's stepchild.

Infytune: Where The Party At, Jagged Edge with Nelly

Perhaps A Child Should Lead Them: In Praise Of Pitt's Standout Safety, Andrew Taglianetti

2012-01-08T10:13:00.013-05:00

Andrew Taglianetti, with a brief and unscripted display of instinctive character, yesterday provided a moral example for the adults who have so calculatedly diminished college football and educational institutions in recent months.

Taglianetti (left), a fourth-year junior at Pitt, spent the first week of this semester's academic calendar not in class but instead in Alabama, learning that football trumps academics at Pitt. He was in Birmingham to participate in low-grade television programming masquerading as a bowl game, a farce whose result was not only deemed unworthy of mention on the Post-Gazette's main online sports page this morning but indeed was listed fourteenth -- of fourteen stories -- on the P-G page devoted to Pitt athletics.

Long after it had been determined that Pitt would lose to an unranked team from a lackluster conference, Andrew Taglianetti was still playing hard in the fourth quarter against Southern Methodist University. He tackled SMU runner Jared Williams with a clean, low, shoulder-first hit that, by gruesome happenstance, snapped Williams' femur. Taglianetti knew immediately that Williams had been severely injured; the break could be heard along the sideline. Taglianetti was responsible, but not culpable, for Williams' injury, but that distinction did not diminish Taglianetti's vividly displayed anguish. Taglianetti did not calculate; he immediately put his hands to his head, fell to his knees, touched his forehead to the ground, and rose to curse fate. Despite the apparent emotional devastation, Taglianetti approached Williams in an obvious expression of regret as trainers assisted Williams for several minutes. When Williams, prone on a gurney, was ready to leave the field for a hospital, Taglianetti stood with Williams (right), empathetically tapping the injured man's chest. Taglianetti seemed shaken for several minutes after play resumed.

Taglianetti's exhibition of sportsmanship, accountability, perspective, and decency would deserve credit in any circumstance. Its purity and context, however, created a striking, instructive comparison with the self-serving, substandard conduct of the grown-ups overseeing the seedy business of football at Pitt and Penn State. Penn State administrators, who focused on public relations and money after it was revealed that their institution's deplorable conduct had concealed and facilitated the rape of children, and Pitt officials, who have poorly served the student athletes they are ostensibly educating, could learn much from Andrew Taglianetti.

There is scant evidence that Penn State or Pitt has learned the appropriate lessons yet, but so long as our Andrew Taglianettis -- who deserve better from their elders -- are better than their elders, we are hopeful.

Infytune: Young Man Blues, The Who

Unsolicited Advice Series: Judge R. Stanton Wettick

2012-01-06T12:46:00.008-05:00

We hope Judge Tony Wettick (right) recognizes that he -- like the victims of unconstitutionally unfair taxation looking to him for vindication -- has been rope-a-doped by disingenuous and morally bankrupt elected officials for some time.

Dan Onorato and Rich Fitzgerald have relied on delay and chaos for years and, with Judge Wettick's acquiescence, have succeeded. Some observers have suggested that Judge Wettick must choose today between 1) jailing Fitzgerald for the most recent cynical maneuver or 2) rewarding the rope-a-dopers by delaying the delivery of justice for another year (while providing another year for more maneuvering).

We humbly wonder whether Judge Wettick might chart a different course. Why not forbid Allegheny County to collect another dime of taxes based on the unfairly inaccurate assessments? We suspect such a ruling would induce the appropriate public officials to find a prompt and just solution.

Infytune: How Soon Is Now?, The Smiths

The Bride Of Lukenstein

2012-01-03T18:25:00.019-05:00

The expressions of InsolvenCity's council members revealed more than did the votes and appointments that set the stage for another year of dysfunction among the City of Pittsburgh's elected leaders.

In quintessential fifth floor fashion, the mayor, his minions, and nine city councilors alienated allies, roiled relationships, and forged faithless allegiances to accomplish not even a feint at progress but instead the maintenance of a mediocre status quo. Another improbable broken-field run places Darlene Harris in the council president's chair, this time leaving an even more broken field. A recipe for a combination of free-for-all and free-fall.

Accepting her colleagues' affirmation, Harris (left, reaching for swearing-in Bible) looked every bit the Bride of Lukenstein she had become, jolted into a tortured approximation of political life by strange applications of power and chemistry. She has her presidency, but is not quite sure how or why it came to creation, and even her flickering faculties sense there is something unnatural and doomed about it.

Patrick Dowd, who bartered his vote for . . . who knows what? Not even a hackneyed horror script could devise a plot lurch in which Dowd received anything worthwhile. On this day, his was the pivotal vote (except in the fantasy world of the Post-Gazette's local political coverage). But his expression indicated that he knew not one of his eight colleagues would ever consider him reliable again. If there was a strategy or benefit associated with this vote, it is known, or perhaps exists, only in the mind of Patrick Dowd.

Ricky Burgess looked like a student whose forged hall pass just fooled one teacher but is not expected to carry him all the way to the parking lot. He has the finance chair, but can not count on anything after today.

Theresa Kail Smith, maid of honor for a day, had the look of an outsider who had maneuvered her way into the "in" crowd, but who realized she would probably be back to her customary level of popularity tomorrow.

Corey O'Connor displayed the genuine smile of someone who was overwhelmed, mostly by good things like inauguration and a marriage proposal, but also by the recognition he was now responsible for voting on public policy despite barely understanding what he had gotten himself into. He looked much like fellow Central Catholic graduate Tino Sunseri in a collapsing pocket, two long seconds after the ball should have been thrown.

Bruce Kraus, Bill Peduto, and Natalia Rudiak tried but could not hide shell shock. Three faces, one expression, evoking Jon Lovitz in a Saturday Night Live presidential debate as Michael Dukakis, who, when asked to comment on the inane mumbling of Dana Carvey's George Bush (the older, competent one), offered concise rebuttal: "I can't believe I'm losing to this guy!" Watch:

Daniel Lavelle just looked happy that his first day of this year's council term could not be as face-plant disastrous as his first day one year ago.

We will leave it to others to perform the detailed autopsy on this year's council, a body decomposing less than one hour into its new life. Divided government has its virtues in some circumstances, but this council is too divided to stand or crawl. Two men put Harris back into the president's position; one hates her, the other dislikes her. As of today, those sentiments are shared by the council colleagues who stood by Harris as the mayor attempted to whack her. There is no discernible majority for anything; not for good government, not for mayoral sycophancy, not for ham-handed corruption, not for any identifiable strategy, not for any sensible tactic.

Can InsolvenCity, still failing after a sustained period of decline, afford the year of paralysis precipitated by today's exhibition of fifth floor dysfunction? What spooked the largely intact majority into splintering? Does anyone other than the List-Makers (and, perhaps, Jeff Thomas) stand to benefit from today's events?

Some (such as Trib headline writers in distant counties) may infer that the animation of the Bride of Lukenstein indicates that Mayor Ravenstahl has regained control of the levers of power. But most people forget that the beneficiary of the bride's creation was not Frankenstein but instead Frankenstein's monster. Frankenstein was the guy who threw the switches and pulled the levers -- and that still is not Luke Ravenstahl, not by a long shot. Far more likely, Pittsburgh will spend this year traveling downhill with no one at the wheel. That's right, another horror movie.

Infytune: Frankenstein, Edgar Winter Group

Adjusted Odds On Tuesday's Voting For InsolvenCity Council President, Finance Chair

2011-12-30T19:12:00.001-05:00

A series of recent developments -- including a telling vote, a few hushed assignations, and at least one inchoate backstabbing along a fifth-floor hallway at the City-County Building -- incline adjustment of the no-longer-early betting lines for InsolvenCity's council presidency and finance chair, and we have reached the point at which favorites are published in bold type (with former odds in parentheses):

Council president
(1) Darlene Harris: 2-3 (4-1)
(2) Theresa Kail Smith: 40-1
(3) Bruce Kraus: 8-1 (3-1)
(4) Natalia Rudiak: 15-1 (7-2)
(5) Corey O'Connor: 5-1 (12-1)
(6) Daniel Lavelle: 40-1
(7) Patrick Dowd: 99-1 (40-1)
(8) Bill Peduto: 15-1 (25-1)
(9) Ricky Burgess: 40-1
Lukefecta (2, 6, 9 vote together): 1-8 (1-3)

Council finance chair
(1) Darlene Harris 40-1 (3-1)
(2) Theresa Kail Smith: 40-1
(3) Bruce Kraus: 15-1 (4-1)
(4) Natalia Rudiak: 15-1 (5-2)
(5) Corey O'Connor: 25-1
(6) Daniel Lavelle: 40-1
(7) Patrick Dowd: 2-1 (40-1)
(8) Bill Peduto: 10-1 (8-1)
(9) Ricky Burgess: 40-1
Daily Double (1, 3 in either order): 25-1 (7-2)

Infytune: Waiting On The World To Change, John Mayer
Infytune: This Time It's For Real, Southside Johnny, Bruce Springsteen, Jon Bon Jovi, and Little Steven Van Zandt (that makes four, for those who are counting)
Infytune: Five Jive, Elmo

Half-Baked Holiday Fare, Part 2: Police-Paid Expert Claims Training Is Reliable Evidence In Jordan Miles Case (Except When It Isn't)

2011-12-27T22:08:00.015-05:00

Local newspapers are putting big headlines on stories spurred by an "expert report" filed by InsolvenCity's lawyers in their continuing attempt to defend the seemingly indefensible police officers who beat an honors student senseless over an illusory plastic soda bottle. Why?

The report exonerates the people who engaged a hired-gun, police-favoring "expert" to write it. This is news?

The report concludes that Jordan Miles (left) "must" have known that the three nonuniformed men who chased and beat him for no apparent reason (in this case, no reason apparent before or after the brutal beating) were police officers. Why? Because the officers were trained to identify themselves, and performing as trained is a reflex, making the training adequate evidence of conduct consistent with that training.

The power of training led the expert to describe (and rely on) a remarkably specific narrative: "It is my opinion that in order for Jordan Miles not to have known that the males who attempted to stop him and whom he eventually struggled with were police officers . . . He would have to have not heard any of the constant repetition of 'Police. Stop. Police.'" Training is, in this expert's opinion, so strong it supports reliance on inferred and detailed dialogue in contested circumstances.

If this training-based inference helps InsolvenCity concerning the issue of shouted warnings, it surely creates a problem for the officers concerning their failure to produce as evidence the plastic soda bottle that ostensibly triggered the savage attack, right? Police officers are trained to preserve important evidence, so the absence of the bottle, in circumstances in which that evidence would be not only important but indeed crucial in a case involving a severe beating, suggests the bottle never existed, right? Especially in a circumstance in which the officer allege that they found the bottle but nevertheless "discarded" it (which would likely eviscerate at least a chapter in the training manual), right?

After considering these points, the expert concluded that the officers' inability to produce the bottle as evidence in these circumstances means . . . nothing.

The expert deems this disregard of training a "mistake" attributable to "human nature," but claims the officers are nonetheless to be excused, and the existence of the bottle to be presumed despite the "training equals conduct" theory, because the officers were acting in the wake of "what they believed to be a life or death struggle."

In other words, the city's expert proposes, the point that excuses the officers' disregard of training is the very point that made the evidence so crucial and therefore, by training, required to have been preserved.

We won't know whether the expert for Jordan Miles is any better for a couple of days. But neither side's lawyers seem particularly sharp in this case. One of Miles' lawyers called the report "kind of racist-based," which doesn't even sound like something a law-talking guy (right) would say (hit soundboard #39):

Lionel Hutz, Esq.: I move for a bad court thingy.
Judge Snyder: You mean a mistrial?
Hutz: Right!! That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talking guy.
Judge: You mean the lawyer?
Hutz: Right.

For Jordan Miles' (and justice's) sake, we hope the judge and jury devote more attention to the facts and witnesses than to the experts and law-talking guys.

Infytune: Message In A Bottle, The Police

Half-Baked Holiday Fare, Part 1: Marty Griffin Putting The "Asses" Back In Assessments

2011-12-27T09:53:00.013-05:00

Even before the wonderful store of Christmas cookies has been exhausted, 'tis the season for half-baked arguments in InsolvenCity.

KDKA Radio's Marty Griffin (left) is self-righteously railing about Allegheny County assessments this morning, spreading stories of scary tax increases that, he says, are soon to confront residents of downtown Pittsburgh and the Strip District. Griffin's claims -- that owners of Strip District homes will soon experience ten-fold increases in property taxes, for example -- turn out to be more slapstick that scary, however, if examined even briefly.

The reason tax bills in the Strip District are certain to increase in general is that luxury condominiums have supplanted abandoned warehouses. The (rare) owner of an unimproved Strip District home may encounter a slight tax increase because of the Strip's general rising tide (which makes that home more valuable), but Griffin is conflating granite-and-mahogany penthouses with siding-and-spackle tenements. A (subsidized) $1.2 million loft will -- and should -- generate a far greater tax obligation than did the broken-window rathole it replaced. The outrage is that the loft-dweller has been permitted to shirk civic obligations for years by Dan Onorato's Reverse Robin Hood Theory Of ~~Low-Rent Politics~~ Taxation.

Griffin's half-cocked rant also overlooks the crucial role of tax rates in calculation of tax obligations. Most assessments will increase, because values have increased, but an increased assessment does not necessarily signal an increased tax obligation. To the contrary, an increased assessment could generate a reduction in tax obligation, because Pennsylvania law will obligate taxing agencies to reduce tax rates in proportion to the increased assessments.

Reassessment does not involve the aggregate burden of real estate taxation nearly so much as the identification of which property owners are forced to shoulder that burden. Dan Onorato, Rich Fitzgerald, and Marty Griffin prefer that average (and below-average) property owners subsidize discounts for the affluent.

Griffin's statements could support an inference that he doesn't even know what he doesn't know, but we believe it more likely that Griffin is aware of the factors that render his simplistic analysis so misleading. Which, for him, is worse; profound ignorance would reflect far better on Griffin that any of the other conceivable explanations.

Infytune: Take The Power Back," Rage Against The Machine
Infytune: The Great Pretender," Freddie Mercury

Time For Some Christmas Music! (And More)

2011-12-23T21:55:00.002-05:00

Time for some Christmas music!

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Infytune: The Chanukah Song I, Adam Sandler
Infytune: The Chanukah Song III, Adam Sandler

Early Wagering Lines: InsolvenCity Council Presidency And Finance Committee Chair

2011-12-23T21:20:00.008-05:00

The initial line on InsolvenCity's city council presidency:

(1) Darlene Harris: 4-1
(2)Theresa Kail Smith: 40-1
(3) Bruce Kraus: 3-1
(4) Natalia Rudiak: 7-2
(5) Corey O'Connor: 12-1
(6) Danielle Lavelle: 40-1
(7) Patrick Dowd: 40-1
(8) Bill Peduto: 25-1
(9) Ricky Burgess: 40-1
Lukefecta (2, 6, 9 vote together): 1-3

The initial line on InsolvenCity council's finance chair:

(1) Darlene Harris 3-1
(2) Theresa Kail Smith: 40-1
(3) Bruce Kraus: 4-1
(4) Natalia Rudiak: 5-2
(5) Corey O'Connor: 25-1
(6) Danielle Lavelle: 40-1
(7) Patrick Dowd: 40-1
(8) Bill Peduto: 8-1
(9) Ricky Burgess: 40-1
Daily Double (1, 3 in either order): 7-2

Infytune: All The King's Horses, The Monkees

Pitt Football Interviews Pulling Double Duty As Research On The Definition Of Insanity?

2011-12-21T20:13:00.009-05:00

A bizarre report concerning the Pitt football coaching search from today's Post-Gazette:

A third candidate, Ohio State defensive coordinator Luke Fickell, who was made interim coach after the forced resignation of former coach Jim Tressel, interviewed for the job but Chryst made a good impression with a strong interview.

Who was impressed? The three administrators who signed Dave Wannstedt to an extension, then fired him less than a year later? The proven losers who arranged the Michael Haywood era? The Three Stooges who were impressed by Todd Graham's interview? The guys who chose Keith "This Infytune's For You" Patterson as interim coach?

If Steve Pederson does not depart before another football coach is introduced (or before Khem Birch returns to campus, whichever occurs first), Pitt's trustees should stop indulging Mark Nordenberg's desire to limp to the capstone of the current capital campaign.

Instead, however, those trustees will enable Steve Pederson, Jerry Cochran, and Mark Nordenberg to treat Pitt fans to a double feature: "Back To The Future" -- Parts I and II. (Perhaps the Pitt band could develop a special musical presentation for intermission.)

Infytune: By The Time I Get To Phoenix, Glen Campbell
Infytune: Galveston, Glen Campbell
Infytune: I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry/Southern Nights, Glen Campbell

A Picture Is Worth A Number Of Questions

2011-12-15T11:59:00.005-05:00

This photograph, circulated by Todd and Penni Graham as they flew to Arizona to swindle Arizona State University's top administrators, prompts several interesting questions:

1) Todd Graham was contractually obligated to the University of Pittsburgh when he obtained the maroon-and-gold necktie and when he distributed this photograph. Is this guy being advised by the lawyer who sent Jerry Sandusky into the Bob Costas interview?

2) Todd and Penni Graham circulated this photograph before some Pitt players had been informed that their faith-commitment-and-integrity coach had abandoned them like a snake impersonating a weasel. Would Pitt players be charged or congratulated for spitting on Graham if their former coach makes good on his pledge to return to Pittsburgh for a final meeting with those players?

3) Which one of these two sanctimonious God Squadders was hitting the Bud at 8 a.m.?

Infytune: Back Stabbers, The O'Jays
Infytune: East Jesus Nowhere, Green Day

Pitt Learns The Hard Way That Todd Graham's 'High Octane' Was Fueled Mainly By Methane

2011-12-14T14:41:00.012-05:00

Todd Graham left Pitt the carpetbagger's way: After a short spell of bragging, empty promises and failure -- and with bags of flim-flam cash. Graham demonstrated his character by informing players with a notification big on personal touches -- God and family -- that was delivered by text message and indirectly, through the e-mail account of a mid-level functionary employed by Pitt's foundering football program.

Graham's slinking departure was not -- or at least should not have been -- unexpected among the men (Steve Pederson, Mark Nordenberg, Jerry Cochran) ultimately responsible for mismanaging Pitt's football program and leaving the Big East in much the manner Graham ditched them. Todd Graham's disenchantment had been reflected by short-termer behavior and increasing insubordination for some time.

One example: Graham (or, more accurate, Graham's wife, Penni) wanted to indulge one of Graham's children by enabling the child to dance in a Panther costume along the Heinz Field sideline during home games. The idea met resistance among several elements of Pitt's athletics department, for several reasons. Penni Graham persisted, until the mini-mascot issue reached the athletics director, Steve Pederson, who ruled the child off the field.

During Pitt's final home game, however, Graham's child -- wearing a tiny panther costume apparently purchased independently by the Grahams, and a Pitt jersey labeled "GRAHAM" -- nevertheless appeared along the Pitt sideline, dancing near the student section. One person familiar with the associated events pointed at the dancing child and said, "See that kid in the costume? That kid on the field today means Graham knows either he is gone or Pederson is gone. Not sure which, but it's one or the other."

Pitt fans should hope that this observer was wrong, and that Pitt will soon be rid of Pederson, too.

UPDATE: It is becoming common currency among substantial Pitt boosters that Graham was pursuing several prospective employers for weeks if not months. Many influential Pitt supporters -- and a number of trustees -- are focusing on dumping Pederson, and some are expressing an inclination to reconsider Nordenberg's fitness if the chancellor attempts to protect the athletics director.

Infytune: Stray Cat Strut, The Stray Cats
Infytune: Midnight Special, Creedence Clearwater Revival
Infytune: Flim Flam Man, Laura Nyro

Occupiers Of Pittsburgh, Unite (Effectively)!

2011-12-11T01:00:00.008-05:00

For months, Occupy Pittsburgh has been surprisingly successful, refreshingly resourceful, pleasantly persistent, and intensely worthwhile.

Every American who recognizes the injustice (and chronic, unsustainable trajectory) of accelerating income inequality, every citizen who chafes against undeserved privilege embedded in our system, everyone who believes our society would benefit from diminution of greed and corruption should be grateful to the Occupiers, many of whom have sacrificed comfort for the worthy purpose of comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable.

Pittsburgh's Occupiers -- based at a Sixth-at-Grant camp, conducting periodic field trips (left) carrying a message to scattered neighborhoods -- have been especially admirable. They have avoided most of the problems -- some self-inflicted, some provoked, others ascribable entirety to thuggish politicians and police -- experienced elsewhere.

Others deserve ample credit for working with the Occupiers to arrange a good situation. Most prominent are BNY Mellon, which has graciously cooperated with protesters squatting on property (right) that it at least largely private, and the Pittsburgh Bureau of Police, which has exhibited a civic-minded restraint it has often lacked in spotlighted situations.

Most of these noble circumstances could change today, however. That would be unfortunate, and avoidable.

BNY Mellon has informed Occupiers that it has withdrawn its permission for an encampment, effective at noon today. It has declared that it would seek an injunction tomorrow if the park is not cleared today. BNY Mellon likely is entitled to enforce its wishes in this regard, and the Pittsburgh police would possess a duty to protect BNY Mellon's rights.

Some Occupiers have promised to resist an effort to clear the park. We hope those voices have been the loudest but not the most numerous among the Occupiers; that the Occupiers who have expressed defiance will reconsider; and that the Occupiers' collective body will choose sound strategy over counterproductive tactics, for the sake of preserving and expanding the good their altruistic actions have accomplished.

The history of populist movements is not encouraging in this regard. The wealthy and privileged customarily win these battles, even as the majestic arc of our nation's progress has traced toward justice over the long term. One important reason for the elites' enviable record is that they select strategy over tactics, and an important reason for that choice is that they have better advisers.

The wealthy have strong lawyers, astute financial consultants, effective lobbyists, smooth mouthpieces. Those counselors have excellent support systems, and their clients are well-organized.

The common man is not so fortunate. Unions have leaders and advisers who permit pension plans to submerge members' interests under decades of underfunding and mismanagement without so much as a modicum of inquiry, a moment of recognition, or a murmur of objection. Average Americans must rely on small legal offices to counter the privileged interests' huge, powerful law firms. The wealthy are served by financial magicians who enable billion-dollars companies to evade taxation, while the blue collar worker puzzles his own way through the 1040 to a higher tax rate than a hedge fund titan pays.

Occupiers choosing counterproductive tactics without regard to finances and other resources, legal issues, and other factors would be destined to follow a predictable path to futility. They would squander public support, splinter their organization, disserve their message, and lose.

Their ideals and accomplishments deserve -- and can be served -- better. They could devise and implement a long-term strategy that inclines success. For example, they could thank BNY Mellon for its hospitality, then negotiate with public officials for another location. (Several public parcels in or near downtown seem suitable.) They could try to persuade another private owner to provide another location, perhaps involving indoor accommodations. They could attempt to arrange an invitation to return to BNY Mellon's property after winter breaks.

To engage in legal jousting with BNY Mellon and/or a physical confrontation with law enforcement personnel would be to succumb to short-term and longshot tactics when long-term and effective strategy is indicated. There is still time for Pittsburgh's Occupiers to avoid the temptation to rely on emotion, to take the low road, to play into the hands of their opponents.

We hope our Occupiers find leaders, advisers, and strategies able to guide them to continuing success.

Infytune: Before The Deluge, Joan Baez and Jackson Browne
Infytune: Strange Fruit, Billie Holliday
Infytune: Only A Pawn In Their Game, Bob Dylan
Infytune: This Land Is Your Land, This Land Is My Land
Infytune: Occupy (We The 99), Jasiri X

Obama vs. Conservatives = Walk vs. Talk

2011-12-10T00:31:00.008-05:00

President Obama's response to conservatives who snipe that he is 'leading from behind' and 'appeasing America's enemies' is a concise masterwork: "Ask Osama bin Laden":

We can hear Dick Cheney's teeth grinding from here.

Infytune: I'm A King Bee, Muddy Waters
Infytune: Got My Mojo Working, Muddy Waters
Infytune: Mannish Boy, Muddy Waters

The Death Of Blues Guitarist Hubert Sumlin, And Other Losses Sustained By Our Music

2011-12-07T12:09:00.014-05:00

Two musical tragedies have been reported this week.

More important is the death of Hubert Sumlin (far left), groundbreaking guitarist for Howlin' Wolf (pictured with Sumlin) and Willie Dixon and idol of many strong musicians, at age 80.

Less important are the Beastie Boys, Guns 'N Roses, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers -- each of which has been granted what has become a deeply discounted admission to the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame.

Who's next? Kenny G?

Infytune: Smokestack Lightin', Howlin' Wolf
Infytune: Smokestack Lightnin', Hubert Sumlin (instructional)
Infytune: Killing Floor, Hubert Sumlin with Eric Clapton, Robert Cray and Jimmie Vaughan

Panther Footballers Learning Hard Way That Mouthy + Stubborn = A Giant Sack Of Pitt

2011-11-26T14:59:00.026-05:00

As Pitt and West Virginia abandon regional rivalries for far-flung, far-from-green conferences -- Pitt, ~~State Penn~~ Penn State, and West Virginia wind up in three conferences, spanning from Boston to Lubbock and Miami to Nebraska? -- it seemed fitting that the game that might have concluded a century of Backyard Brawl football turned out to be a sack of coal.

West Virginia produces coal. Pitt's offense mass-produces sacks.

(Or, as Todd Graham might boast, "We're number one!")

Pitt's mediocre performance this season was predictable, yet apparently blindsided Todd Graham, whose devotions to system and to bragging overrode reason synergistically. Graham inexplicably stuck with a complicated offensive system long after experience confirmed the smart-money predictions that Pitt's personnel could not succeed with it.

No later than September -- when Pitt proved proficient at being sacked even in maximum-protection formation -- it was obvious that a pass-happy offense would be pass-sad for this year's Panthers. Fortunately for Pitt in these circumstances, the Panthers had one of the top runners in college football, Ray Graham. The only things that stopped Ray this season were Todd's play-calling and a knee injury.

Graham instead stuck with an intricate, fast-paced offensive strategy that relied on the quarterback's arm and head. What Tino Sunseri lacks in instinct and judgment, he makes up for with being short, slow, and flutter-armed. (Has Pitt ever won a game in which it trailed in the second half and had Sunseri at quarterback?) During yesterday's second half, Sunseri played like a young man whose mother was being held hostage by Mountaineers and whose father had bet the family's souls on West Virginia.

Graham's self-promoting mouth compounded his operational failures. He promised a "high octane" team. His image, more than Ray Graham's, was placed on tickets, programs, promotional materials, and the like. He predicted strong performance. Worst -- because it exposed a lack of honesty or competence -- Graham repeatedly endorsed Sunseri:

"I have full confidence in him as a quarterback."

That's millions of dollars in football insight talking, at least as measured by Steve Pederson and Mark Nordenberg. Those tempted to discount Graham's words as puffery should recall that Graham moved his most experienced backup quarterback to another position.

As Pitt limps home to play Syracuse and pursue a 6-6 record (and invitation to the Beef O'Brady Bowl), Steve Pederson and Mark Nordenberg should recognize that they will have competition new and old as the Graham Era unfolds. The new competition will come from Atlantic Coast Conference programs. The old competition will come from Ed Bozik.

There are increasingly strong signals that Jamie Dixon may be considering an expansion of his employment horizons. If Dixon leaves Pitt, he may take Ed Bozik's aging crown of thorns with him.

Infytune: Run Like Hell, Pink Floyd

Save Your Money And The Date: Bruce Springsteen Could Be Back In Pittsburgh!

2011-11-25T16:28:00.013-05:00

Forget big-screen televisions, Ipads, and the other Black Friday junk! Save your pennies and hold your holiday gift-giving plans open, because Bruce Springsteen will bring his rock-and-roll revival hour (three hours, some nights) and the E Street Band to America in a few months, and tickets will be available soon.

At least a half-dozen of the tentative dates involve shows within road-trip proximity to Pittsburgh and -- despite InsolvenCity's decline to third-tier status for concerts that don't involve country and doo-woop -- Bruce and the E Streeters are scheduled to play for Pittsburgh in March.

Tentative dates near Pittsburgh:

Philadelphia / Wed. and Thurs., March 28, 29

Pittsburgh / Saturday, March 31

Nassau / Sunday, April 1

D.C. / Monday or Tuesday, April 2 or 3

Detroit / Thursday, April 12

Buffalo/ Friday, April 13

Cleveland / Tuesday, April 17

The tour also will visit New Jersey, probably in late April or early May. Clearances and other logistics are in progress; dates could change.

Infytune: Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, Bruce Springsteen with Joe Grushecky (Flood Aid, Pittsburgh, 2004)
Infytune: Incident On 57th Street, Bruce Springsteen (Soldiers and Sailors Hall, 2011)
Infytune: The Wish, Bruce Springsteen
Infytune: We're Having A Party, Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes with Bruce Springsteen (The Agora, 1979)

JFK New Frontier Award Signals Happy Days For Mayor Ravenstahl And The Kennedys

2011-11-25T09:58:00.006-05:00

After ascending from somewhat modest (and sketchy) beginnings, reaching rarely matched levels of power and honor, tracing a memorable arc through American public culture, and experiencing the inexorable and inevitable erosion of dynasty from generational decline and historians' analysis of previously concealed information, the Kennedys finally jumped the shark on Monday.

The Post-Gazette has the local angle.

Infytune: Sweet Caroline, Neil Diamond
Infytune: Abraham, Martin and John, Dion
Infytune: Sympathy For the Devil, The Rolling Stones
Infytune: Happy Days Theme, Pratt & McClain

An InfiCollection Of Holiday Movies

2011-11-24T11:55:00.005-05:00

For many, the holidays reunite families and provide a break from normal schedules, creating opportunities for movie-watching. Some worthwhile holiday films:

• It's A Wonderful Life (1946): It's a wonderful film. Jimmy Stewart, Donna Reed.

• Planes, Trains And Automobiles (1987): This Thanksgiving film is one-holiday-fits-all great. Steve Martin, John Candy (left).

• Trapped In Paradise (1994): Best crime-as-comedy holiday film you've never seen, set in Pennsylvania. Nicholas Cage, Jon Lovitz, Dana Carvey.

• Bad Santa (2003): Funny as hell, but not before the children are asleep. Billy Bob Thornton (right).

• Die Hard (1988): John McLane survives the worst holiday party ever: "Come out to the coast [for Christmas], we'll get together, have a few laughs ..." Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman.

• Home Alone (1990): The rare, if not unique, kid-outsmarts-adults movie that works. McCauley Culkin, Joe Pesci.

• Trading Places (1983): Hilarity with a sociology lesson. Eddie Murphy (left), Dan Aykroyd, Ralph Bellamy, Don Ameche, Jamie Lee Curtis.

• National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989): The Griswold formula -- strive, fail, recover -- at Christmas. Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo.

• A Christmas Carol (1984): George S. Scott (right) as Ebenezer Scrooge, Charles Dickens at the pen.

• Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964). So cute most don't notice Burl Ives is preaching tolerance.

Your recommendations invited.

Infytune: "Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!", Vaughn Monroe

They Are . . . Penn State!

2011-11-21T21:06:00.002-05:00

One of the victims of the Penn State-related sexual abuse of children is reported to have been driven from high school during his senior year by bullies who blame the 17-year-old for the firing of Joe Paterno.

Infytune: What's The Matter Here?, 10,000 Maniacs

Why Not Do It Correctly On Thursday?

2011-11-21T20:39:00.003-05:00

Why not removed sliced fingers, bruised feelings, and mangled bird from Thursday's menu?

Infytune: Wish You Were Here, David Gilmour
Infytune: Wish You Were Here, Roger Waters and Eric Clapton
Infytune: Wish You Were Here, Pink Floyd

(Soccer Champion) Women Are From Mars

2011-11-19T14:25:00.014-05:00

The young ladies from Mars produced an out-of-this-world result in the Pennsylvania high school soccer AA championship game, defeating traditional powerhouse -- and nationally top-ranked -- Villa Joseph Marie of Bucks County, 1-0, at Hersheypark Stadium on Friday.

The lone score -- in a game in which Mars did not place a single shot on goal -- was an own-goal precipitated by a crossing ball from the left foot of Crysta Ganter (second from left).

Congratulations, Fightin' Planets!

Infytune: Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves, Annie Lennox and Aretha Franklin
Infytune: Just Fine, Mary J. Blige
Infytune: Respect, Aretha Franklin

Onorato To Highmark? It's Over -- UPMC Wins!

2011-11-18T18:54:00.008-05:00

If KDKA has it right, and Highmark is going to rely on Dan Onorato's post-executive connections and persuasiveness in its government relations and regulatory affairs, it's over (technical knockout). UPMC has won.

Infytune: Bad Moon Rising, Creedence Clearwater Revival
Infytune: It's Over, Boz Scaggs

Infytune: Money For Nothing, Dire Straits with Eric Clapton

Penn State's Eerily Perfect Self-Protective Pitch Continues To Sound Wrong Notes

2011-11-18T10:51:00.015-05:00

Penn State's insularity, self-centeredness, and lack of self-awareness has begun to approach absurdity.

Which of these would be the least apt legal counsel the school's trustees could engage to assist with the Official Penn State Investigation of how the entire Penn State community -- from janitor to emperor, from police to board of trustees -- failed to protect children from rape:

a) a Penn State graduate whose legal practice focuses on ~~investigation of wrongdoing~~ "syndicated and commercial lending/bilateral finance" and "corporate and securities mergers and acquisitions"

b) a Penn State insider with a history of advising Penn State and its trustees

c) the law firm that helped Frick, Carnegie, and other powerful interests dodge all accountability to the victims of the Johnstown Flood (and is still boasting about it, even from the grave), or

d) all of the above?

Infytune: Still The Same, Bob Seger

Parsing Ravenstahl's Play Against Franco Harris

2011-11-17T18:32:00.013-05:00

InsolvenCity Mayor Luke Ravenstahl, demonstrating a new and uncharacteristic concern regarding the character of people participating in Insolvencity's public affairs, has called for Franco Harris to resign from the board of the Pittsburgh Promise scholarship operation. The mayor (far right, with advisor on problem nightclub issues) employed strident terms -- taking the friend-of-the-enemy-of-my-enemy's friend approach customarily restricted to anti-abortion zealots -- in assailing the former Steeler running back's character and judgment for expressing support of Joe Paterno, Harris' (and Penn State's) former college football coach.

Some have ascribed Ravenstahl's unusually energetic response to Harris' pro-Joe statements to family history (Harris' son Dok haplessly challenged Ravenstahl in a mayoral election).

Others might claim Ravenstahl's move against Harris is based on the mayor's heartfelt outrage concerning systematic child sexual abuse, a point we might consider plausible if someone produces evidence that Ravenstahl denounced the Catholic Church for concealing and facilitating sexual abuse of children at a level that makes Penn State (at least so far) look like a bunch of altar boys. (Make that an exceptionally large group of altar boys.) Did Ravensthal murmur even a word of disapproval concerning the shameful misappropriation of public funds for Catholic Church use in North Park?

We also suppose it is possible that Ravenstahl is dumb enough to conclude that Harris' statements betray a lack of concern for the victims of Penn State's depravity.

Each of those explanations, however, seems less likely than our hunch: Ravenstahl doesn't like Harris simply because Franco is a Democrat.

Infytune: Be True To Your School, The Beach Boys

Time To Shun And Expose Penn State, Which Is Still Looking Out For Itself (And Football)

2011-11-16T11:56:00.016-05:00

It seems reasonable to conclude that unless and until Penn State cancels a football game, the university's reactions to the revelations of institutional facilitation and concealment of sexual abuse of children constitute a self-serving (but perhaps more polished) continuation of the cover-up that consigned children to molestation.

Is no one connected with Penn State, State College, or Centre County capable of self-awareness, or of recognizing the need for an independent review of every element of this entire moral meltdown?

The district judge who slashed prosecutors' bail request, gave Jerry Sandusky a no-money-down bond, and sent an accused serial child rapist home to a residence that abuts an elementary school? Leslie Dutchcot (right) (1) was the beneficiary of a fundraiser conducted by a Second Mile foundation executive, (2) was a volunteer for Sandusky's child access program, (3) did not disclose her relationships with Sandusky's child molestation operation, and (4) might have an opportunity to explain all of this to the State Supreme Court soon.

The university trustee selected by Penn State's board to lead the investigation of how the school reached its current level of depravity? Kenneth Frazier is the attorney who masterminded Merck's multi-billion-dollar, scorched-earth effort to avoid responsibility for harm caused by Vioxx.

The lawyer defending Sandusky (although not necessarily effectively) with respect to sex-with-minors charges, and declaring he would leave his child alone with Sandusky? Joseph Amendola reportedly prepared for this assignment by impregnating a 17-year-old client -- at age 49. (That woman recently posted on Facebook, "OMG did Joe just say he would leave my kid alone with Jerry Sandusky?")

No reasonable observer would take the university's investigation seriously. For several reasons, the prosecutors who seem to have placed gubernatorial ambitions above warning central Pennsylvania's parents are poor candidates to provide a comprehensive, independent review.

That leaves lawyers for the victims as the best prospect for a credible illumination of the circumstances that protected Penn State and its football team at the expense of many molested children.

Until fundamental changes at Penn State are confirmed, every Penn State football player should leave the team; every Penn State student should transfer (excepting those who proximity to graduation would make transfer impractical); every high school senior should choose a school other than Penn State; every parent should refuse to approve a child's enrollment at Penn State; every sponsor should abandon Penn State football; no bowl should invite the Nittany Lions; and every Penn State graduate should implore the school to develop self-awareness and a moral compass.

Until Penn State cancels a football game, every time Penn Staters yell "We are Penn State," the rest of the world should hear "We are Penn State football!"

Infytune: Judgment Day, Method Man

For Some Fans, It Is Time To Re-Evaluate Your Taste In Heroes And Associations

2011-11-13T12:17:00.010-05:00

For anyone who rooted for the Nittany Lions yesterday (perhaps after a stop to have a picture taken at the Paterno statue, left), and will devote this afternoon to cheering for Ben Roethlisberger and the Steelers, it is time for some soul-searching.

If, between games, you visited a Catholic Church, you might have a hard time finding a soul to search.

The rest of us can contemplate the thought of Jerry Sandusky out for a bit of shopping this week --at Dick's, of course.

Infytune: Hallelujah, Leonard Cohen
Infytune: Cathedral, Crosby, Stills, and Nash

The Nittany Credulous

2011-11-12T11:06:00.008-05:00

Penn State students and alumni tend to be loyalists. Followers. Traditionalists.

(The skeptics, independent thinkers, and creative minds among Pennsylvania's college applicants generally have chosen other institutions, such as Pitt, Penn, and Carnegie Mellon. This is changing in Oakland, as Pitt abandons it traditional mission -- offering a big-league education to striving students from the local middle to lower classes -- and pursues the more lucrative role of backup school for Ivy League rejects from New Jersey, New York, and the Philadelphia suburbs whose applications are augmented by parental ability to pay full freight.)

No change in credulity, however, is apparent in State College, even as the endowment becomes the Victims Of Penn State's Immorality Compensation Fund.

Observation of a stubbornly faithful herd (right) supporting the 20 or so Penn Staters who concealed and facilitated the rape of children -- for more than a decade, and for the purpose of protecting the image and finances of a football program and its university auxiliary -- is, therefore, not entirely surprising.

Some reported comments from fans assembled at State College for today's football game are nonetheless jarring.

Fifty-something Penn State alumnus Tom Lowe, for example, wore a "Thanks Joe" sweatshirt for the game (and preparatory tailgating).

"I still love Penn State." said 1991 Penn State graduate Dave Granski.

Most Penn State fans not only did not permit the scandal to interfere with today's entertainment, but indeed "were supportive of Mr. Paterno," the Post-Gazette reports.

For Tom Lowe, Dave Granski, and others drinking, socializing, and cheering at Beaver Stadium today, this weekend would have been better devoted to having their moral compasses adjusted.

Infytune: Luka, Suzanne Vega

11-11-11

2011-11-11T13:21:00.004-05:00

Today is 11-11-11, a once-in-a- . . . well, somewhat rare occurrence.

Infytune: Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight/C.O.D., Spinal Tap
Infytune: Don't Lift That Kilt (Instrumental and Interview from Dennis Miller show), Les Paul and Nigel Tufnel

Veterans Day 2011

2011-11-11T11:19:00.003-05:00

Today's Americans stand on the shoulders of those who strove before them, beneficiaries of centuries of ingenuity, sacrifice, intrepidity, investment, and effort throughout the world.

For most Americans, Veterans Day is a relatively minor holiday; a day of leisure for some, another workday or schoolday for others. Even when mentioned by a colleague or a newspaper article or a radio broadcast, it can be a passing thought, particularly among those outside the relatively thin slice of America currently shouldering the military burden with sweat, anxiety, and blood.

More than one million persons have accepted active duty in the military service of today's United States of America. All have been volunteers, pushed by patriotism, practicality, and perhaps other factors in varying measures.

Millions of other veterans have completed their service. Some enlisted, some were conscripted. Some pursued danger, some had no choice other than to confront it. Some accomplished great missions, others have been sent on fools' errands, some were issued immoral orders. Some were required to overcome not only the enemy but also the ignorance and bigotry of their peers or superiors.

Nearly all have distinguished themselves, whatever their orders, by simply doing their duty. Some returned as heroes, some (including heroes) returned to a society that treated them like dirt. Some returned in caskets, some never returned.

More than one million persons have died in the military service of the United States. At a technical level, Memorial Day honors the dead and Veterans Day honors the living. All, however, deserve a moment of reflection, a kind thought, a measure of gratitude today.

Infytune: The Wall, Joe Grushecky
Infytune: The Wall, Bruce Springsteen
Infytune: Shut Out The Light, Bruce Springsteen

Penn State's Child Rape Problem Progresses

2011-11-08T23:44:00.015-05:00

The pro-Joe holdouts among Pennsylvania State University trustees and influential alumni are reportedly being wrestled to submission by donors, public officials, and others. President Graham Spanier possesses even less support, and seemingly no chance to survive in office as he awaits criminal charges, but some trustees apparently fear a short-term leadership vacuum could aggravate a situation already marked by institutional paralysis and staggering liability exposure. Disgraced coach Joe Paterno (smiling with chanting supporters gathered outside his home, right) is said to be nearly delusional with respect to the scandal and his position.

(Until evidence overcomes the probability that Tom Corbett's political ambitions influenced the timing of state prosecutors' handling of this matter, Penn Staters would be smart to exclude Pennsylvania's governor from anything beyond an ex-officio trustee's position during these deliberations.)

Those attempting to salvage the football program (and hold some recruits) appear to be pushing defensive line coach and recruiter Larry Johnson, at least informally, to accept a promotion. Given the toxicity to be associated with Penn State and its athletics program throughout the foreseeable future -- the situation seems likely to worsen as revelations emerge -- the prospect of persuading an accomplished head coach to move to University Park seems remote.

Infytune: Ball Of Confusion, The Temptations

Why Were Registered Democrats Permitted To Vote For The Non-Democratic At-Large Council Position?

2011-11-08T20:41:00.005-05:00

Why were registered Democrats permitted to vote today for candidates for the unexpired Republican (or, for the fastidious, non-Democratic) at-large Allegheny County Council position?

If the opportunity a number of Democrats have reported -- to vote for Heather Heidelbaugh, the Republican nominee, or to cast instead a vote for another candidate -- was a proper, intended circumstance of ballot preparation, the prospect for mischief is plain. Having already selected Jumpin' John DeFazio, a Democrat, for one at-large position, Democratic electors could have arranged today for someone other than a Republican (a Libertarian, perhaps, or a Republican more attractive to Democrats, or a non-partisan) to complete the term Ed Kress relinquishes after being selected by county council Republicans to replace Chuck McCullough as the non-Democratic at-large member.

Devious Democrats seemingly could have even arranged for a Democrat to switch registrations (to Republican, or non-partisan, or Green, or something else other than Democratic), then challenge the Republican nominee for the second at-large position.

Anyone who believes such low-grade political cheating involving disingenuous party registrations would be beneath public officials (and partisans) must be unfamiliar with the sordid recent history of the United States Commission On Civil Rights.

[Note regarding second Infytune: If Todd Gaziano and Gail Theriot can masquerade as non-Republicans, why can't Henry Famborough pull off XX-chromosomed vocal chords?]

Infytune: Lowdown, Boz Scaggs

Infytune: Games People Play, The Spinners (dude ridiculously masquerading as Barbara Ingram version)

Infindorsements: Hold Your Nose, But Vote!

2011-11-06T13:20:00.019-05:00

Residents of Greater Insolvency may be excused for exhibiting a lack of excitement with respect to candidates set to appear on Tuesday's ballots, but lackluster candidates should not be enough to disincline a citizen to exercise a hard-won entitlement to vote. So hold your nose and push the pixels in these directions:

Allegheny County Executive: The best news associated with this Election Day is that citizens will soon be rid of Dan Onorato (left, with junior aide), under whose lack of leadership the County of Allegheny is in shambles, acutely failing nearly everyone who comes in contact with county government and chronically violating the United States Constitution and fundamental decency. The sole consolation for those who will elect half-heartedly Infindorsed Rich Fitzgerald to succeed Onorato is a slim hope that Fitzgerald's coziness with Onorato policies and playmates will be cast aside in January, when Onorato is to become an unproductive lobbyist collecting a six-figure reward for eight years of favors funded by taxpayers. Republican Raja, an unattractive candidate, deserves sympathy -- he has paid dearly for being duped by Republican Party leadership and by a sleazy set of campaign consultants -- but not votes.

Allegheny County Controller: After overcoming a familial connection with ugly InsolvenCity politics to become a worthwhile legislator, and overcoming her most worthy competition by defeating Valerie McDonald Roberts in the primary, Chelsa Wagner has earned the Infindorsement.

Allegheny County Treasurer: A small-town pol of the type that has shackled our region for decades, but a likeable and relatively effective one, John Weinstein carries the Infindorsement with him to victory on Tuesday.

Allegheny County District Attorney: Jordan Miles merits the Infindorsement; incumbent Steven A. Zappala Jr. is far too conflicted to deserve the additional term of office oblivious voters will provide on Tuesday.

Allegheny County Council: Infindorsed candidates are John DeFazio (Democratic at-large), Edward Kress (Republican at-large, although Republicans were silly enough to nominate tiresome but loud ineffectiveness embodied by partisan flamethrower Heather Heidelbaugh), District 2's Jan Rea, District 5's Vince Gastgeb, District 6's John Palmiere, District 10's William Robinson, District 11's Barbara Daly Danko, and District 13's Amanda Hawkins Green. In the sole contested race, in which Republican Michael Dell offers unsophisticated but well-meaning opinions against Nick Futules' proven insipidity, the Infindorsement belongs to Michael Dell, largely because Futules chose cowardice over conviction (an easy call for someone who lacks conviction) in ducking the drink tax vote.

Pittsburgh City Council: Infindorsees Darlene Harris (District 1), Bruce Kraus (District 3), and Dr. Patrick Dowd (District 7) are a flawed and fractious bunch, but they appear to constitute the principal hope for averting catastrophe in InsolvenCity until a competent mayor takes office. With Natalia Rudiak, Bill Peduto, and District 5 rookie Corey O'Connor (who holds an Infindorsement crafted entirely of hope), they possess a responsibility to forge a durable coalition against List-Maker predations and parking privateers.

Pennsylvania Superior Court: David Wecht was chosen for the bench too young, primarily on name recognition, but needs only outpace a lame Republican to get the Infindorsement and easily meets that standard.

Pennsylvania Commonwealth Court: Kathryn Boockvar is too young for an appellate position, but is nonetheless plainly preferable to her opponent and therefore takes the Infindorsement to the polls.

Judicial retention (Pennsylvania): Voters should consider retaining Infindorsed judges Renee Cohn Jubelirer and Mary Hannah Leavitt (Commonwealth Court). Voters should push the "reset" button and create vacancies with respect to the judicial positions currently entrusted to Michael Eakin (Supreme Court), John Bender and Mary Janes Bowes (Superior Court), and Robin Simpson (Commonwealth Court)

Judicial retention (Allegheny County): The Infindorsed candidates for retention are Kathleen Durkin and Randal Todd. Voters should thank David Cashman, Guido DeAngelis, Michael A. Della Vecchia for their judicial service with a vote to return them to the pool of local pols.

Library funding referendum (City of Pittsburgh): Although a county-wide funding mechanism -- such as Regional Asset District revenues, which would be adequate for this purpose were relevant board members to refrain from self-promoting, hypocritical ass-kissing in the form of iniquitous subsidization of entertainments preferred by the tuxedoed corporate class -- would be preferable, we encourage InsolvenCity voters to recall the wisdom of Emil Faber ("Knowledge is Good") and support public libraries by voting to enact a modest tax.

Infytune: Salt Of The Earth, Keith Richards and Mick Jagger
Infytune: Electioneering, Radiohead
Infytune: Won't Get Fooled Again, The Who

Nittany Lions Reportedly Played In Catholic League With Respect To Criminal Sexual Abuse Of Children

2011-11-05T14:29:00.023-04:00

One of the essential foundations of Penn State's football program has been careful management of information and image. Assisted by small-town circumstances and horribly misplaced loyalties, university officials and compliant (perhaps cowed) locals -- including law enforcement personnel -- controlled investigations and imposed secrecy with respect to unflattering events for decades.

Recent revelations indicate that Penn State has been no better than the Catholic Church with respect to concealment and facilitation of sexual abuse of children, relying -- as has the church -- on undeserved pedestal and privilege to promote and protect self-interest at shocking cost to victims and morality.

Why did Penn State officials refrain, for more than a decade, from alerting officials to evidence that defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky had been observed molesting children on university premises? Why did they enable Sandusky to continue to operate a program for at-risk children, and to use his affiliation with Penn State to arrange access to children?

Long-overdue criminal charges will provide an opportunity for Penn State's athletic director and a Penn State business executive to answer those questions, but it seems probable that the circumstances and motivations resemble those associated with campus police officers who extended unwarranted courtesies to Penn State footballers over the years, or midstate journalists who pulled punches (what are the career prospects of a Centre County sports writer who publishes information damaging to Joe Paterno?) with respect to Penn State. Cowardice, poor judgment, flawed character, and a warped environment appear to have enabled pressures to build, and wrongdoing to compound, until an explosion occurred.

For too long, protecting the football program at whatever cost has been the Penn State Way.

Penn State President Graham Spanier (who, like Mark Nordenberg, appears to have outlasted his institutional usefulness some time ago) has promptly gone all-in with respect to defense of his administrators. Unless those Spanier has vigorously defended -- perhaps from self-interest -- are exonerated without qualification, Spanier will deserve to be fired, scorned and ruined.

(Important point: The worst to be said about Nordenberg is that his period of effective leadership ended some time ago, and that Pitt's performance and mission have deteriorated in recent years.)

We applaud the law enforcement personnel who have disregarded decades of small-time, small-town protocol by filing criminal charges against Penn State royalty. We hope any victims of Penn State-promoted predations will advance civil claims against every person and institution that engaged in, concealed, and/or facilitated selfish destruction of children's lives; the facts, long submerged, should be illuminated.

This episode could provide a few pointers with respect to Pittsburgh's relationship with sporting royalty.

Remarkably, Jerry Sandusky's autobiography (right) was entitled "Touched."

Infytune: Universal Child, Annie Lennox
Infytune: Covered In Cowardice, Billy Talent
Infytune: Like A Rolling Stone, Bob Dylan and The Rolling Stones

Happy Halloween! (Hold The X-Rays)

2011-10-31T08:21:00.014-04:00

Halloween is a great holiday. Parents preparing to agonizingly scrutinize children's collected treats -- and anyone considering how much they should fear their fellow citizens, tonight and in general -- might benefit from some good news: There apparently has never been a documented case of poisoned treats.

So enjoy a wonderful night of community for children of all ages!

Infytune: Monster Mash, Bobby "Boris" Pickett (pictured, right)
Infytune: Spooky, Atlanta Rhythm Section

Mylan Continues Response To Creative Resume Scandal Of Its Vice President COO Director Chief Executive Officer

2011-10-26T12:08:00.018-04:00

Quit wasting money on tuition, future CEOs of America! Mylan Inc. (parent of Mylan Pharmaceuticals) today provides vivid proof one need not earn an MBA to reach the summit in corporate America. Being the child of a ~~governor~~ senator and riding that to a gig as loyal lieutenant to an asswipe obviously suffices.

(Any chance the Bresch controversy figured in the Southeastern Conference's apparent conclusion that West Virginia University's academic reputation falls short of the educational standard established by such luminaries of learning as the University of Arkansas, Ole Miss, and Mississippi State University?)

Infytune: The Great Pretender, Freddie Mercury

For Those Who Would Rely On The Judgment Of The Republican Primary Election Voter

2011-10-25T19:08:00.019-04:00

For anyone taking comfort -- while watching Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, and Newt Gingrich speak at podiums -- from the thought 'there's no way the Republicans would actually nominate someone like that,' a sobering point of evidence from the ongoing review of the Nixon White House recordings, which continues to embellish the record of the first beneficiary of the Southern Strategy:

President of the United States Richard Nixon: Well how about announcing Powell this afternoon?

Attorney General of the United States John Mitchell: I wouldn't do that until we've first --

Nixon: Heard from Walsh?

Mitchell: Yeah, we want to program that committee so we can blame the woman on that. ...

Nixon: Well, I get your point ... Incidentally, what is Rehnquist? I suppose he's a damn Protestant?

Mitchell: I'm sure of that. He's just as WASPish as WASPish can be.

Nixon: Yeah, well, that's too damn bad. Tell him to change his religion.

Mitchell: All right, I'll get him baptized this afternoon.

Nixon: Well, get him baptized and castrated -- no, they don't do that, I mean they circumcise -- no, that's the Jews. Well anyway, whatever he is, get him changed.

Mitchell: All right, let me pursue this further ...

Infytune: Ohio, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young
Infytune: Watergate Blues, Gil Scott-Heron
Infytune: Line 'Em Up, James Taylor

Bin Laden, Gadhafi, Iraq -- Three Ugly Chapters Closed During Fine Foreign Policy Year For America

2011-10-22T15:29:00.009-04:00

The announcement that ~~all~~ nearly all American troops will leave Iraq by year-end (a couple of hundred soldiers are to remain posted to guard a billion dollar monument to U.S. stupidity) is welcome news.

A number of people -- most prominently, those whose pursuit of the Republican nomination for president appears to have impaired their memories of a longstanding commitment to withdraw by the end of this year -- are criticizing this decision, joining the column of embittered, discredited warmongers who contend the United States should still be bombarding Vietnam (and Laos, and Cambodia, and Thailand) and mutter that decent Americans should have 'Kent Stated' all of the anti-war freaks when they had the chance.

With the deaths of Osama bin Laden (who had inexplicably eluded America for nearly a decade) and Moammar Gadhafi (deposed at a cost to American taxpayers approximating the amount paid each day for pointless, fatal failure in Iraq), the departure from Iraq marks a fine year of foreign policy accomplishment for President Obama.

Infytune: War, Edwin Starr
Infytune: What's So Funny (About Peace, Love And Understanding), Vote For Change tour version
Infytune: Last To Die, Bruce Springsteen And The E Street Band

A Short Poem Concerning The Occupiers: Millions + Minions < Credibility + Substance

2011-10-21T09:59:00.016-04:00

We intend to commend and counsel the Occupiers (and to needle some naysayers) in an original manner, but until then:

All Dick Scaife's millions,
And all Dick Scaife's minions,
Couldn't withstand the force,
Of Slag-Heaped opinions

Infytune: The Dirty Jobs, The Who with David Gilmour

Gadhafi's Time To Die Arrives, A Bit Overdue

2011-10-20T21:58:00.004-04:00

A bit overdue, but Moammar Gadhafi's time to die arrived shortly after the fugitive former despot was discovered cowering in a sewer pipe.

One less selfish, brutal bastard on our planet.

Infytune: Beautiful Day, U2

InsolvenCity Future, Behold InsolvenCity Present

2011-10-12T17:03:00.007-04:00

To glimpse ~~The Ghost Of~~ The All-Too-Real InsolvenCity Future, one may gaze eastward, toward InsolvenCity Present.

Infytune: All I Want For Christmas Is You, Mariah Carey
Infytune: Christmas In Hollis, Run-D.M.C.

Occupiers Provide Primer In Ineffectiveness

2011-10-10T18:22:00.012-04:00

Here is a vivid demonstration of why the Occupiers seem destined to be a group of well-meaning but low-functioning people unlikely to be effective (despite the availability of outstanding advice):

Were celery sticks, raisins, and juice served shortly after this performance concluded?

Infytune: Mockingbird, Carly Simon and James Taylor (No Nukes)

A Couple Of Suggestions For Occupy Pittsburgh

2011-10-10T10:04:00.020-04:00

As the Occupiers attempt to establish position in Pittsburgh, we fear that two factors could predictably interfere with the group's effectiveness. The first is inefficiency (counterproductive egalitarianism of the type that generates 90-minute discussions concerning whether to mention God in a mission statement), the second ineffectiveness (amateurism can be endearing but also hapless).

We therefore offer a couple of suggestions, developed without a seven-hour meeting but with an aim of message, publicity, simplicity, lawfulness, and feasibility:

1. Occupy the privileged portion of Sixth Avenue fronting the Duquesne Club (325), public property which Pittsburgh and its police enable a tycoons' social club to use as a private parking lot for the pampered. Surround a scofflaw Benz or Bentley and chant "Why Do Millionaires Park For Free? The Answer Is Luke And The FOP."

2. Occupy the lovely, leafy stretch of Devonshire Street fronting the University of Pittsburgh chancellor's residence (718), using sleeping bags to illustrate that Devonshire is an especially comfortable street -- for the privileged and subsidized. Chant "Why Is A Millionaire's House Tax-Free? Ask The Guy From Pitt and UPMC."

Can anyone explain why the parcel occupied by the Pitt chancellor's residence is listed out of order at the county real estate website, making it unusually difficult to find, or why so little information about the property is provided?

If Occupiers would like other suggestions, let us know.

Infytune: Power To The People, John Lennon
Infytune: For What It's Worth, Buffalo Springfield
Infytune: Revolution, Beatles

Raja Campaign Makes An Iffy Candidate Look Good -- But That Candidate Is Rich Fitzgerald

2011-10-09T11:23:00.020-04:00

It is not surprising that an immigrant named Raja running for office as a Republican in Democrat-dominated Allegheny County would encounter difficulty in assembling a good campaign staff, but the shoddy work of D. Raja's campaign is nonetheless striking.

A current Raja television spot derides Rich Fitzgerald as a "career politician." Fitzgerald has never made politics his career. Fitzgerald's livelihood has for more than 25 years derived from a company he founded, Aquanef. Fitzgerald has been a county council member -- a part-time position that pays roughly enough to cover parking at the Grant-at-Forbes lot during council meetings -- for half as long as he has worked at Aquanef. These circumstances make Raja's "career politician" assertion a lie.

We would like to know more about Aquanef and its operations -- and, in particular, its relationships with government agencies and entities positioned to benefit from a county executive's decisions -- but Raja has ignored substance and instead chosen disingenuous cheap shots.

That advertisement also accuses Fitzgerald of imposing "the highest tax in the history of Allegheny County." This is either an intentionally misleading claim or a falsehood. If Raja refers to a tax increase, imposition of the Regional Asset District tax generated a multiple of the revenue associated with imposition of the drink tax. If Raja refers to gross revenue, county property tax revenues dwarf drink tax revenues. Again, Raja is working fertile ground -- Fitzgerald chose poor policy and procedure in imposing the drink tax -- but he ignores the hay and ventures into the weeds.

A candidate who resorts to lies a month before the election is desperate and, in this case, likely doomed. Raja's campaign staff seems incapable of arranging victory for its flawed candidate, but the Raja campaign is succeeding with respect to one tough task: It is making Rich Fitzgerald look good.

Infytune: Lies, The Rolling Stones
Infytune: La-La-La Lies, The Who
Infytune: Little Lies, Fleetwood Mac

A Man, A Mouth, And A Major Miscasting

2011-10-08T21:21:00.011-04:00

After today's 34-10 flameout at Rutgers, three points are apparent with respect to the Pitt football team:

1. Ray Graham is a man.

2. Todd Graham is a mouth.

3. Tino Sunseri is miscast.

Infytune: My Best Was Never Good Enough, Bruce Springsteen

Woodland Hills Wins Assessment Bowl, 38-0; Avonworth Tops North Catholic's Leeches, 9-0

2011-10-08T18:43:00.017-04:00

In the annual Assessment Bowl, Woodland Hills' Wolverines overcame undeserved privilege in a convincing manner Friday evening, whipping Fox Chapel's Foxes, 38-0.

Woody High has earned a 5-1 record this season; Fox Chapel, despite all the unconstitutionally unfair advantages Dan Onorato and Rich Fitzgerald could provide, is 2-4.

Avonworth's Antelopes, meanwhile, outran the North Catholic Leeches, 9-0.

Two shutouts. One of the things politically tainted money can't buy, apparently, is a point.

Infytune: Fortunate Son, John Fogerty, Bruce Springsteen
Infytune: Can't Buy Me Love, The Beatles

Tea Party Mathematics: How Would Raja Propose To Replace Drink Tax Revenue?

2011-10-06T09:38:00.009-04:00

Raja has approximate 15 minutes to devise a proposal for replacing roughly $45 million in Allegheny County revenue that would be lost consequent to elimination of the drink tax. He should probably refrain from consulting the financial advisers who overlooked the Regional Asset District tax when declaring that imposition of the drink tax -- a mistake for which Rich Fitzgerald is accountable -- had effected the largest tax increase in Allegheny County history.

Infytune: Loan Me A Dime, Boz Scaggs

God To Palin: Shackle Thyself Not With The Constraints Of Being Leader Of Free World

2011-10-05T20:07:00.013-04:00

Noting with regret that the presidency of the United States of America is just too small a canvas for her brushstrokes of insight, former half-term Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has announced that she is quitting her 2012 presidential campaign even before its formal start.

Mrs. Palin did not use those precise words; her precise words were that the presidency seemed “too shackle-y” for “someone like me, who's a maverick -- you know, I do go rogue and I call it like I see it.”

Mrs. Palin's formal statement implies that God did not support her for president.

Bright side: This provides more time for her to surf the Intertubes.

Infytune: The Promised Land/Running On Empty, Jackson Browne and Bruce Springsteen

Raja Breakfast Special: Waffles And Whiskey

2011-10-05T18:12:00.010-04:00

The first flare of desperation in the Allegheny County Executive contest is to be launched at 10 a.m. tomorrow. Republican Raja ~~has consulted polling results and fundraising totals~~ has, after an extended period of waffling, found religion on the drink tax . . . and a corresponding endorsement. Details at 10.

Can proposals to eliminate property taxes (without replacement revenue), sell all county parkland, and privatize or outsource the entirety of county government be far behind?

Infytune: Turn Your Love Around, George Benson

Welcome, Wasilla!!!

2011-10-05T14:55:00.005-04:00

Infinonymous has welcomed visitors from nearly every corner of our globe -- international visits spike when Pittsburgh police are conducting a world-class demonstration of unprovoked police brutality -- but so far as we are aware we broke our Wasilla, Alaska cherry (IP address: Gci Communications) just before 6 a.m. this morning:

Entry Page Time: 5 Oct 2011 05:48:11
Location: Wasilla, Alaska, United States
IP Address: Gci Communications (66.58.184.210)
Search Referral: www.google.com — rifles crossed
Visit Page: Infinonymous: August 2009

Our Alaskan visitor(s) landed on this page.

Welcome, Wasilla!

Infytune: Yellow Snow, Dweezil Zappa
Infytune: Papa Don't Preach, Madonna
Infytune: Super Freak, Rick James

Again, The Public Is Indebted To Ravenstahl

2011-10-05T12:30:00.007-04:00

Because many vermin prefer the dark and shun illumination, compiling even a close-to-comprehensive list of names of the List-Makers, cream-skimmers, and other active obstacles to good government in and around InsolvenCity would constitute a formidable endeavor.

The public therefore is indebted to Ravenstahl For Mayor for not only compiling but indeed publishing such a list.

We do not wish to discount this performance of public service, but it seems appropriate to note that copies of campaign contribution checks, telephone logs of calls from leeches seeking public funds, and the signature sections of no-bid government contracts provided a unique head start to Ravenstahl For Mayor in this context.

For anyone unfamiliar with Jim Croce, this set of Infytunes is offered as a special treat.

Infytune: I Got A Name, Jim Croce
Infytune: Operator, Jim Croce
Infytune: Bad Bad Leroy Brown, Jim Croce
Infytune: Time In A Bottle, Jim Croce (Muppets)

Fitzgerald Shelves Taste For Drink Tax When His Top-Shelf Friends Are Doing The Imbibing

2011-10-04T00:27:00.015-04:00

Rich Fitzgerald seems destined to succeed Dan Onorato as Allegheny County Executive -- in part because the Republican Party leaders who pushed Raja to run apparently forgot that although not all Republicans are racist, most racists are Republicans -- and also appears committed to continuing Onorato's immoral rope-a-dope on regressive (and unconstitutionally unfair) property tax assessments.

Republicans can console themselves, however, with the thought that mansion-dwellers are not the only privileged citizens pampered by Onorato-Fitzgerald policies.

When Fitzgerald was enjoying (right) the sumptuous dining-and-drinking offerings under the tent at the Riverlife Party On The Pier fundraiser on Friday evening, for example, did it trouble our executive-to-be that while his average constituent tosses a buck or two the county's way from a barstool -- thanks to the regressive drink tax Fitzgerald championed as county council president -- the
Seen-worthy patrons at the fancy catered events (left) he regularly attends drink tax-free? (The tax is owed; it just isn't paid by organizers or caterers of many political and charitable fundraising events, without a peep or disapproving glance from county officials.)

With Democrats like Dan Onorato and Rich Fitzgerald, who needs Republicans?

Infytune: V.S.O.P., Above The Law

'Sporty In Pink' Roethlisberger (And Dick's) Still Showing Solidarity With All The Bitches

2011-10-03T17:31:00.005-04:00

Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger wore plenty of pink (right) -- including what appears to be a pair of pink panties (left) -- during yesterday's game against the Houston Texans.

This pick from the palette not only should move some merchandise sold by a bunch of Dick's, but also enables Ben to show solidarity with all his bitches.

Infytune: Pretty In Pink, Psychedelic Furs
Infytune: Eminence Front, The Who

Sunday School: When To Speak With The Police

2011-10-02T11:11:00.008-04:00

This two-part lesson is apt even in a jurisdiction in which police officers act properly (and are held accountable for improper conduct):

Advanced study: The American Civil Liberties Union knows your rights.

Infytune: Someone To Talk To, The Police
Infytune: Cocaine Blues, Johhny Cash (live at Folsom Prison)

It's The End Of R.E.M.'s World

2011-09-21T23:50:00.006-04:00

R.E.M. has dissolved.

Words Fail . . .

2011-09-17T23:43:00.013-04:00

Jimi Hendricks?

Jezus Krist!

Infytune: Purple Haze, Jimi Hendrix
Infytune: Foxy Lady, Jimi Hendrix
Infytune: Are You Experienced?,
Jimi Hendrix
Infytune: Star-Spangled Banner,
Jimi Hendrix (interview)
Infytune: The Wind Cries Mary,
Jimi Hendrix
Infytune: Like A Rolling Stone, Jimi Hendrix
Infytune: All Along The Watchtower, Jimi Hendrix
Infytune: Wild Thing, Jimi Hendrix (flambe version)
Infytune: Hear My Train A-Comin', Jimi Hendrix (toothsome version)

UPMC, Children's Hospital, And "Charity;" Why Reason When Rants Win Awards?

2011-09-16T17:49:00.007-04:00

Taking complex issues -- such as the contours of health insurance coverage (for example, UPMC's decisions with respect to what its insurance covers and does not cover), UPMC's finances and "charitable" nature, the relationship of Children's Hospital to UPMC (and the local community), and UPMC's wholesale misappropriation of community-minded donors' kindnesses -- and carelessly reducing them to simple statements and sentiments is work for, and by, simpletons.

Hey, Toto, why do we have the feeling we're back in Haiti?

Infytune: Don't You (Forget About Me), Simple Minds
Infytune: Over My Head, Fleetwood Mac
Infytune: Africa, Toto (check Jeff Porcaro)

Parsing Greensburg's "Democrat Party" Problem

2011-09-08T18:34:00.005-04:00

Republicans and conservatives who are barely literate, are partisan jerks or (most often) are poorly educated and poorly mannered regularly mangle standard English by using "Democrat" (as an adjective) to jab members of the Democratic Party.

Some right-wing ~~newsgatherers~~ media abandon professionalism to adopt the liberal-bashing affectation.

An example in today's Tribune-Review is especially strange:

"It will be difficult to get Democrat votes if we do not do (legislation) in a comprehensive manner," said Rep. Michael Hanna, a Democrat from Clinton County.

By publishing this quotation, the Tribune-Review signals that one of these points is accurate:

Democratic elected official Michael Hanna was quoted properly, and has joined the right-wing fringe's adjectival assault on standard English and the Democratic Party

By-lined reporter Timothy Puko miquoted Hanna, perhaps by sacrificing his integrity at the altar of a Scaife-signed paycheck

One of the Tribune-Review's editors, perhaps bucking for a certificate for a free weekend at ~~Doug's Motel~~ the luxurious and renamed Huntingdon Inn Motel, revised Puko's account to enforce Scaife-flattering or -mandated dogma.

Infytune: If Loving You Is Wrong (I Don't Want To Be Right), Luther Ingram

Will County Provide Benefits To Domestic Partners, Or Must Gays Wait For A Democratic Executive?

2011-09-08T12:43:00.006-04:00

The Allegheny County Human Relations Commission's most recent request that the county stick a toe in the Twenty-First Century by acknowledging that gays are human distills to a single question:

Will Dan Onorato extend benefits to county employees' domestic partners, or must those who favor equality wait until a Democrat occupies the office of Allegheny County Executive?

Tip to non-bigots: If you want help from Dan Onorato, join the North Catholic football team or buy a million-dollar house, and if you want to catch him in a smiling mood (left), you need to take him to the Duquesne Club.

Infytune: A Change Is Gonna Come, Rev. Al Green

Republican Presidential Candidates March In Dogmatic Lockstep On Guns, God And Gays

2011-09-06T22:45:00.007-04:00

A handful of Republican presidential candidates gathered in South Carolina yesterday to confirm that their lockstop devotion to right-wing dogma makes a Republican candidate the right choice for every American who

is convinced that America's three biggest problems are public employees, science, and gays;

is comfortable with torture but not with expanded access to healthcare;

considers evolution a Satanic plot;

fixates on deficits (but not on who or what generated them);

is among the minority of Americans who believe that most of their countrymen are cold-blooded killers for tolerating morning after pills;

figures George W. Bush was a decent enough leader but might have been a bit too intellectual; and

believes there is nothing wrong with America that more guns, tax cuts (particularly for the wealthy), and superstition can't fix

but for no others.

You can't blend religious nanny-state scolds (social conservatives) with educated, small-government pragmatists (fiscal conservatives), season that mixture with plenty of warmongering (militaristic conservatives), and expect a coherent result.

Infytune: Bizarre Love Triangle, New Order

One World Brown-Noser Summit Rewards Pittsburgh For Military-Style Brutality Against Young People During G-20 Siege In Oakland

2011-09-06T13:00:00.018-04:00

When we first heard about the "One World Summit" (described as a Davos forum or G-20 event for the world's "young people of leadership calibre"), we suspected it might be another resume-padding product aimed at the world's emerging crop of obsequious, oblivious, insufferable self-promoters.

After learning that this group has selected InsolvenCity for it 2012 event -- disregarding the unnecessary and immoral police brutality directed toward young people at the immediately preceding international summit conducted in Pittsburgh -- our suspicions have become certainty. We expect InsolvenCity to resemble an assembly line for Santorum aides -- preppy clothing, immature moralizing, self-centered brown-nosing, and amateur-hour drinking exhibitions -- during October 2012.

Infytune: Like A Rolling Stone, Bob Dylan
Infytune: Once In A Lifetime, Talking Heads

Could A Move Kick-Start Local Donkeys?

2011-09-06T09:57:00.011-04:00

Allegheny County Democrats are on the move! A postcard mailed to Democratic Committee members a few days ago confirms it.

Before local Democrats grumbling about the local party's lack of energy and achievement get too excited, however, they should read the fine print. What's moving is merely the county committee's headquarters -- literally, and for the second time in recent years. (The new address is 73 South 13th Street, 15203, near the heart of the South Side Intoxication District.)

We do not know what this development means, but a review of background seems worthwhile.

The county committee's performance has been generating complaints from important Democrats -- candidates, party workhorses, donors, fundraisers -- in increasing breadth and volume.

Candidates complain that the longstanding worthlessness of the party's endorsement in a primary election has been creeping into the context of the Democratic nomination during a general election. The candidates' complaints concern lack of financial support; spotty effort and loyalty from party leaders, including most municipal committee chairs; and declining campaign manpower. If elected, these candidates perceive neither respect for nor indebtedness to the Democratic Committee.

Party workhorses don't complain nearly so much; they simply work less or devote energy elsewhere. Fundraisers such as Lazar Palnick and Cliff Levine have been working independently, taking their donors with them. Street-level volunteers have been moving to Organizing For America and MoveOn, or switching to gardening, craft brews, the PTA, and Rachel Maddow.

The county committee's leadership seems poorly positioned to address these problems. Chair Jim Burn (right) is stretched severely, as county council president, chair of the Pennsylvania Democratic Party, and a husband and father who must earn a livelihood. His vice-chair, Nancy Mills, is no help; her backroom selection for the position baffled nearly everyone and has never been explained in word or deed. Ed Abes, the treasurer, has little to do because funds are scarce.

Whether Jack Cambest and Ed Grattan continue to occupy Democratic Committee positions (Cambest as solicitor, Grattan as finance co-chair) is open to guesswork. Their names were removed from the party website after Rich Lord illuminated The List-Makers, the organization that appears to command the primary loyalty of Grattan and Cambest. Grattan and Cambest are listed in some party mailings but not others. In any event, Cambest has always been a ceremonial figure, leaving the party's legal work to others, while Grattan (like finance co-chair Stephen Frobouck, whose public-private network includes Jeb Bush and the List-Makers) connects money and political figures more for private perks than for party benefit.

The result is that the Allegheny County Democratic Committee is bereft of bite and can barely bark. It labors to pull off the occasional rally, golf outing, candidates night, or Kennedy-Lawrence dinner. It can not arrange candidates better than lawyers declared unqualified by the bar association, the Ravenstahl boys, and the three-clown circus endorsed by the city committee for city council a few months ago. Nearly every major local Democratic official got Obama-Clinton wrong, a rookie mistake for which the region has suffered.

Luke Ravenstahl and Dan Onorato (left), the two top local elected officials, would be Republicans in most regions of the United States. Each is more likely to embarrass the Democratic Party than to generate enthusiasm among Democrats.

Some Democratic regulars gripe about these circumstances, but no one acts, perhaps because there isn't enough enthusiasm in the party to sustain a debate or challenge.

The best thing the county Democratic committee has going for it is that its Republican counterpart is weakened by registration disadvantage, afflicted by lame leadership and harsh infighting, and badgered (and to some degree tempted) by Tea Party nuttiness.

One interesting point -- and, for local Democrats who seek a strong party structure rooted in principle rather than patronage, reason for hope -- is that the move to the South Side involves a departure from 225 Ross Street, nerve center of a cream-skimming network that has sapped the strength of the Democratic Party in Allegheny County for many years. That point alone supports a bit of hope that the Allegheny County Democratic Committee can shake its shackles and become a needed force for good in InsolvenCity and beyond.

Infytune: Our House, Madness
Infytune: Our House, Crosby, Stills, and Nash

Homeland Security Theater: Operation Saggy Pants

2011-09-04T13:09:00.005-04:00

It appears an officious, white-bread-huffing Southwest Airlines employee chose the wrong saggy-pantsed American citizen to harass recently, inadvertently providing an apt illustration of how misguided so much of America's reaction to the September 11 attack has been.

Did Southwest address this situation sensibly -- Southwest contacted the customer promptly, and arranged carriage on the next flight -- because it recognized the impropriety of its employee's conduct, or because cultural treasure Billie Joe Armstrong has millions of dollars (and, probably, a lawyer) and a six-figure Twitter following?

Infytune: American Idiot, Green Day
Infytune: When I Come Around, Green Day
Infytune: Basket Case, Green Day

Some People Are Just No Damned Good

2011-09-02T19:24:00.005-04:00

From observing the consequences of the reported conduct of someone such as Terra Jean Hill (right), it becomes apparent that some people are just no damned good.

Instead of focusing on the inexplicable and indefensible, however, please devote a caring thought to little Alizae Mosconi.

Infytune: Evil Woman,
Electric Light Orchestra

The Most Celebrated Speed Weapon In Pitt Football History Takes The Field For The Panthers Tomorrow

2011-09-02T15:21:00.015-04:00

When Pitt's footballers compete against Buffalo tomorrow, they will feature a celebrated new reliance on speed. Indeed, the Panthers will exhibit speed never before observed by Pitt fans, speed that Larry Fitzgerald and Marshall Goldberg could barely dream of, speed that Curtis Martin and Dion Lewis lacked, speed that Darrelle Revis and even Tony Dorsett (right) could not match.

We refer, of course, to Todd Graham's mouth.

Graham's "high-octane" talk and "fast-acting formula" promises may have sold some tickets, and generated headlines, and might produce more success than Dave Wannstedt delivered -- but so far it is just talk, with no evidence to support expectations of improvement.

Today's Post-Gazette reports that an Allderdice athlete has committed to play football at Pitt. To become a Panther, Tyrique Jarrett rejected an offer from ~~LSU~~ ~~Texas~~ ~~Alabama~~ Akron. So long as Pitt fishes in waters shared by Miami of Ohio, Kent State, Youngstown State, and Toledo, it seems reasonable to remain skeptical concerning whether the arrival a $2 million-per-year mouth is cause to invoke memories of Johnny Majors.

Infytune: Talk To Me, Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes (with Bruce Springsteen)
Infytune: This Time It's For Real, Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes

The ACLU Is An Antidote To Drug Warriors With Craniums The Size Of Poppy Seeds

2011-09-02T09:19:00.008-04:00

When a hospital repeatedly forgets the "do no harm" portion of its ostensible mission -- and becomes a mindless drug warrior chasing poppy-seeded spectres, trampling decency and common sense along the way -- Americans can be grateful the American Civil Liberties Union is willing and able to vindicate the Constitution and Americans' civil rights.

Infytune: Breakfast at Tiffany's, Deep Blue Something

When Lack Of Self-Awareness Turns Surreal

2011-09-01T15:15:00.009-04:00

It's not every day you can watch a guy whose entire belief system -- and every argument -- relies entirely on superstition-laced dogma chastise another debater for failure to meet an adequate standard of "proof" . . . unless you travel with former Senator and current Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum.

Infytune: Would Jesus Wear A Rolex , Ray Stevens
Infytune: Far Away Eyes, The Rolling Stones (Keith-Mick hug version)

Exposing InsolvenCity's Cop Succors

2011-08-31T17:41:00.022-04:00

Bothered by a longstanding impression that a badge provides practical immunity from accountability for misconduct in Greater InsolvenCity?

Troubled by a persistent inability to rid the mind of a disturbing image featuring District
Attorney Stephen A. Zappala Jr. as ~~Javert~~ a habitual cop succor?

Ever wonder why representatives of the Pittsburgh Bureau of Police (up to and including the level of commander) and Fraternal Order of Police (up to an including the union's executive leadership) can run interference for crime-ridden nuisance bars in several InsolvenCity neighborhoods so brazenly?

Clarification of these points is available ~~in the Post-Gazette~~
~~at the Tribune-Review website~~
~~from one of our FCC-licensed newsrooms~~
~~from that new hotshot journalism enterprise in town~~
at 3MurkyRivers.

Equally rare insight (concerning the Commonwealth's most important maitre d') is being served over at Rick's Place.

Infytune: Highway Patrolman, Johnny Cash (sound improves)
Infytune: Highway Patrolman, Johnny Cash (audio version)
Infytune: Fight To The End, Immortal Technique and Sabac Red

Invoking The Moral Authority Of Chris Rock

2011-08-29T20:44:00.009-04:00

Agent Ska today wishes Michael Jackson a happy birthday. On behalf of Infinonymous, Chris Rock responds:

Infytune: Zombies Ate Her Brain, The Creepshow

What In Hell Is Wrong With People?

2011-08-28T14:01:00.008-04:00

Among the 32 searches that delivered readers to Infinonymous most frequently today, substantially more than half involved these at least one of these elements:

1. joanna doven
2. someone holding a 40 of captain morgan / lambs navy rum
3. hogtied man / woman / lesbians
4. ashlie hardway
5. sewerology [??]
6. handcuffs blonde
7. virginia montanez
8. carrie prejean [redacted]
9. pittsburgh police garrett brown
10. be like a dancing bear
11. natalie gulbis [redacted]
12. where to buy sixpacks in pittsburgh
13. luke ravenstahl rumors / carson street / blonde

What in hell is wrong with people?

And, because we are pretty sure we never use "sewerology," what in hell is wrong with Google?

Infytune: Crazy, Gnarls Barkley

Six Years Of Child Rape = Two Years Of Probation?

2011-08-27T15:18:00.005-04:00

The InfiLawyer says how law school works is that the A students become professors, the B students work for big firms, the C students become multimillionaires, and the D students become judges.

Maybe in some places, but not in Westmoreland County, which obviously has looser standards.

Infytune: Dazed And Confused, Led Zeppelin

The Naked City Infytune

2011-08-27T11:47:00.004-04:00

When shameless boardroom greedheads misappropriate civic institutions and dodge taxes, someone -- usually at the margin -- gets short-sticked. A well-placed beam of light can be an appropriate and effective response.

Welcome, Luke-Gazers In Government Offices!

2011-08-26T10:10:00.004-04:00

Our recent observations concerning InsolvenCity Mayor Luke Ravenstahl's refreshingly responsible flood-related conduct have generated an uncommonly large wave of visits, especially from government-related IP addresses.

The usual suspects -- City of Pittsburgh, Allegheny County of Penn, Pennsylvania legislature (House and Senate), Alcosan -- have been joined by a broader crew, including a number of Commonwealth agencies, the United States Department of State (sherman and clayton branches), county authorities, several courts, and various local, state, and federal law enforcement agencies.

The relevant page has also been popular among Harrisburg lobbying firms, Pittsburgh law firms, and Chicagoans.

A substantial number of recent visitors have ventured into The List-Makers' List (far right column); especially interesting, apparently, are Lamb/Lord, Wecht/Infinonymous, Brabender/Fitzpatrick, Acklin/Peduto, and Orie/Murphy.

The readers who linger longest tend to be enjoying these corners of Infinonymity: the underpass, the office, and the warehouse.

Welcome to all, and . . .

Infytune: (We're) Having A Party, Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes with Bruce Springsteen (The Agora, 1978)

It Is Time For Bashar al-Assad To Die

2011-08-26T08:02:00.002-04:00

When the soul-starved regime you inherited rather than earned reaches the "mangling cartoonists' hands" stage --cousin to the "crushing children's testicles" stage contemplated by the type of unhinged ideologues who engage in torture by proxy -- it is time for the citizens of the society you have hijacked to remove you from power, by killing you if necessary.

Die soon, President al-Assad.

Infytune: See You Later, Alligator, Bill Haley & His Comets

The Refreshingly Responsible Life Of Luke

2011-08-25T14:52:00.008-04:00

Although his administration's reaction to the Washington Boulevard flood faltered out of the blocks, Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl has recovered nicely, responding responsibly in comments and conduct.

Correcting an early exhibition of deflection and delusion, the mayor acknowledged that the relevant government officials' dissemblings were inadequate and declared what should have been obvious from the start: "Something has to change on Washington Boulevard."

While others adopted a helpless stance, the mayor proposed policy suited to the circumstances: "If we have to close down a road, perhaps prematurely, perhaps unnecessarily, we will do that." That is nothing of which InsolvenCity should be proud, but it is the sole prudent course unless and until a reliable engineering solution is implemented.

The mayor properly described a point some subordinates had proposed as a defense -- that they perceived no flaw in operation of the stormwater management system -- as evidence not of vindication but of inadequacy: “If in fact their conclusion is accurate, then we clearly have bigger issues on our hands than we may have anticipated.”

Returning to his city after another awkward invocation of what must be the most uncannily effective subconscious early-warning system in human history, the mayor added an appropriate grace note by attending the funeral of a woman his city had failed.

Rejecting the dodging and defensiveness of others, Mr. Ravenstahl acknowledged, deftly, that the municipal breakdown raised issues of accountability for many public officials, including the mayor: "Certainly we'll take a look at it and whoever bears responsibility, and we all do in some way, for the events will certainly take it."

Mayor Ravensthal's performance since the catastrophe occurred has been nearly as good as the precipitating failures were bad.

Infytune: Redemption Song, Bob Marley

The In-Over-Her-Head Life Of Joanna Doven

2011-08-25T09:20:00.025-04:00

Chronicling a series of silly statements from the inadvertently entertaining public life of mayoral mouthpiece Joanna Doven has been primarily amusement, but we were struck nearly speechless recently when her chuckleheaded commentary veered from daft to dangerous.

In the wake of unspeakable tragedy -- "unspeakable" being an important cue, in this context, for someone with Ms. Doven's record -- came two of the dumbest statements we have ever encountered, comprising a single sentence:

"The road is open, therefore the road is safe," Ms. Doven said.

It is difficult to determined which of those reckless, dangerous assertions is worse.

The road is safe?

Many words could describe a situation in which nine feet of poorly managed water drowns a mother and her daughters inside a vehicle on a paved city street (while an elderly woman is swept to the river and her death in a storm sewer). "Safe" is not among them.

Asking whether Washington Boulevard is safe resembles Pulp Fiction's Butch the Boxer (Bruce Willis) asking Marcellus Wallace 'You OK?' -- right after Wallace had been beaten unconscious, hogtied, ball-gagged, raped, and rescued moments before an ugly death in a sadist's dungeon. Joanna Doven deserves the response Wallace gave at 8:00 of this clip. (One difference, of course -- and it does not work in Ms. Doven's favor -- is that Butch had just saved Wallace's life in an altruistic manner.)

To paraphrase Marcellus Wallace: Washington Boulevard is pretty . . . far from safe.

"The road is open, therefore the road is safe?"

At the time that claim was advanced, "the road is open" did not mean "the road is safe." It meant solely 'the same knuckleheads who observed and ignored a recent series of escalating flash floods in an area known to flood for at least a half-century still encourage you to put your family on Washington Boulevard during rush hour.'

While her colleagues in government were claiming to be powerless to prevent a recurrence, and that they had no idea how this calamity occurred, Ms. Doven (right) was assuring the public with an unqualified declaration that the flood plain was safe. This goes beyond hackery and flackery, straight to reckless endangerment.

Even by the customary standards of Ms. Doven's mindless defend-deny-deflect approach to her work, the performance in Monday's Post-Gazette established a new mark. The only generous explanation we can conjure is that for Ms. Doven, a new mother, the horrific image of two young girls drowning with their mother was enough to short-circuit every functioning synapse in her system.

Infytune: Our Lips Are Sealed, The Go-Gos (lip-synch version)
Infytune: Our Lips Are Sealed, The Go-Gos (girls can play version)

It Is Time For Muammar Gaddafi To Die

2011-08-21T19:02:00.005-04:00

As Libyan citizens bent on revolution reach Tripoli, it appears to be time for Muammar Gaddafi, who chose to maintain his power until its bitter end, to die. (Again.)

Rebels reportedly captured ~~one~~ two of Gaddafi's sons reportedly today, while a cowering Gaddafi implored Libya's women to take arms and save him. Gaddafi is said to have spent recent days transferring funds to a safer location (likely Algeria). The fighters currently encircling Gaddafi's residential compound should kill Gaddafi before he is able to join those assets in exile.

Infytune: Talkin' 'bout A Revolution, Tracy Chapman

InsolvenCity Welcomes New Voice As Infrastructure Decline Precipitates The 'Killer Raindrops' Era

2011-08-21T12:03:00.007-04:00

At a time when the list of grave threats imperiling InsolvenCity (and baffling its overmatched leaders) is revealed to include rain, a promising new voice -- the 3MurkyRivers blog -- observes that the precipitating problem might be the thicket of scandal that appears to involve everything (and everyone) associated with the Pittsburgh Water and Sewer Authority.

(In fairness, we note that although the PWSA was unable to prevent an August rainstorm from drowning four people on a paved InsolvenCity street, the PWSA's stormwater pipe was adequate to transport the corpse of a 72-year-old woman from Washington Boulevard to the bank of the Allegheny River.)

The PWSA scarely needs another scandal, and there is no apparent reason to believe any revelation would incline the relevant prosecutors or the Ravenstahl administration to address the problems at PWSA, but has anyone attempted to connect dots between this story and the PWSA?

Infytune: Drowned, Pete Townshend
Infytune: Who'll Stop The Rain?, John Fogerty
Intytune: Bad Moon Rising, Creedence Clearwater Revival

It Ain't Rocket Science. It's InsolvenCity.

2011-08-20T18:48:00.006-04:00

Shorter Cometary:

It's InsolvenCity. Run by imbeciles and chiselers chosen by morons elected by a concentratedly inferior gene pool. Approaching predictable, avoidable collapse. Following traditional, failed trajectory.

Not exactly rocket science.

Infytune: Space Oddity, David Bowie (strange version)
Infytune: Space Oddity, David Bowie (stranger version)

When Government Fails, Children Drown In Cars And The Elderly Are Swept Away In Storm Sewers

2011-08-20T13:19:00.014-04:00

The lethal flooding along Washington Boulevard (much like the recurrent problems along Girty Run in and near Millvale) seems likely to be the product of improper runoff management (related primarily to selfish and careless development practices) upstream, negligent maintenance of stormwater systems, or -- our guess -- both.

The flash flooding in Highland Park did not surprise some public officials (such as those working in Pittsburgh council member Patrick Dowd's office, who have been monitoring the situation for some time) and should have surprised no one. That stretch of road has flooded several times in recent months, dismissing any thought that the recent deaths may be attributed to a freakish, unpredictable act of nature. These catastrophes have been caused by the acts and omissions of people, primarily public officials and developers.

It is easy to view the petty corruption and pervasive ineptitude in many corners of Greater InsolvenCity's municipal life, such as the Pittsburgh Water and Sewer Authority and Alcosan, as an abstract issue or a tolerable inadequacy. The bodies of two pre-teen girls drowned with their mother inside a car, and the corpse of a 72-year-old woman carried to the river in a storm sewer, are tangible reminders that InsolvenCity's crumbling infrastructure and municipal dysfunction are serious problems with grave practical consequences.

The public should demand to know how the relevant decision-makers responded to earlier flooding, and how those officials (or, better, their successors) propose to avoid more predictable, man-made tragedies along Washington Boulevard and Girty's Run.

UPDATE: From failure, heroism. Reports that seem reliable indicate that a number of emergency responders engaged in heroic conduct that saved lives. Their ingenuity, professionalism and altruism deserves enormous credit.

Infytune: A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall, Bob Dylan

Straw Poll Voters In Iowa (30 Bucks A Straw) Emulate Straw-Filled Scarecrow From Kansas

2011-08-14T21:31:00.018-04:00

The Republican Party conducted a straw poll in Iowa this weekend. Because it was conducted by Republicans it featured a poll tax; because it was conducted by Republicans in Iowa the voters were primarily superstitious whites fattened, feed-lot style, with deep-fried butter (on a stick, naturally -- with icing).

~~Paying customers~~ Eligible voters could base their decisions on a debate in which the Republican candidates provided lockstep pledges on public policy positions disfavored by most Americans (involving issues such as taxes and abortion). You might be a redneck party if Ron Paul is the only one on stage who rejects conservative dogma and makes sense on issues such as Iran past (the history of America's anti-democratic intervention), Iraq past (the blunder toward invasion), Iran future (the prospect of bombing Tehran), and the enduring Constitution (concerning treatment of "enemy combatants" and states' rights).

Or, Iowa's paying "voters" could have gotten their thirty bucks worth by writing in the name of Colbert Super PAC-endorsed candidate "Rick Parry" (right).

Early reports ascribed hundreds of write-in voters to "Rick Perry," with no indication how many of those votes included the "A for America" suggested by the Colbert political action committee. If anyone sees a reliable account of "Rick Parry's" performance in Iowa, please send it along.

Michele Bachman won the straw poll, Ron Paul finished second, Tim Pawlenty third. This would mean much if the United States were populated primarily by superstitious, bigoted, resentful, selfish, xenophobic white males. Gov. Pawlenty appeared to recognize this point when he celebrated his bronze medal by promptly quitting the race entirely.

Infytune: That Don't Impress Me Much, Shania Twain

Question From Null Space: If A Drip-Drip-Drip Occurs In InsolvenCity, Does Anyone Fix It?

2011-08-14T12:23:00.011-04:00

The ostensible bewilderment at Null Space concerning numbers that do not add up at the Pittsburgh Water and Sewer Authority seems likely to be feigned wonder.

We not only believe that there exists within Null Space a working theory that would explain the devastating bond debacles, remarkably one-sided Iron City Brewing dealings, unlawful insider confidence sc hemes, and -- most important at the moment -- inexplicable lack of curiosity (and signatures on courtroom complaints) from the principals of that authority, but we will also state that theory: The current decision-makers have no desire to investigate or illuminate these transactions and revenue streams because disclosure of facts would (1) embarrasse people -- including themselves --they wish to protect and (2) expose those people to criminal prosecution or civil claims.

These circumstances generate a need for new decision-makers, and in a context of functional government would invoke the local prosecutor. The local district attorney, however, is beholden (and, as has become familiar, related) to likely suspects.

This directs the spotlight toward the relatively new United States Attorney, David Hickton, whose early record suggests he is either not interested or too interested in the denizens of the sewers at which local politics, public money, and profiteers intersect.

Many months have passed since federal agents interviewed a series of local elected officials and other witnesses with respect to the conduct of other local elected officials and associated cream-skimmers. Iron City Brewing took millions of taxpayer dollars to preserve jobs, destroyed those jobs, and moved brewing operations from New York to Wisconsin to Latrobe in less time than it has taken the appropriate officials to impose some accountability at the Water and Sewer Authority. Maybe the public should hire the Iron City operators -- who are available, having sucked the last of the marrow from local taxpayers' bones -- to go after the Water and Sewer Authority again, except this time they'd be working on behalf of the citizens of InsolvenCity and Allegheny County.

Infytune: Beer Bottle Boogie, Koko Taylor
Infytune: Bring Me Some Water, Koko Taylor

Images From Batman's Pittsburgh Sets Give Fans An Early Thrill -- And The Film A Bitter Critic

2011-08-12T19:36:00.009-04:00

One somewhat surprising element of Batman's visit to Pittsburgh has been the relatively open set. (It was tempting to write that the set must be open because no imbecile would permit the entirety of downtown Pittsburgh to be turned into a closed set, but then we remembered the identity and judgment of InsolvenCity's current decision-makers . . .)

Anyway, ample accounts of sightings of Tumblrs, Batpods, Batcycles, and Batwings have been circulating among the Intertubes, giving fans an early taste of that which will descend upon theaters next summer.

The amateur videos are often accompanied by panting and squeals of hyperventilating fans. Many websites are drooling over the glimpses of Bane, a camouflaged Tumblr, Selina Kile's riding leathers, and the like.

Not everyone, however, has liked what he has seen.

UPDATE: Welcome, visitors from around the nation and across the globe! There are plenty of excellent BatPhotos available on the Intertubes (all, apparently, taken moments before fake cops in real uniforms could bully amateur photographers), but please be sure to check the video linked at the preceding paragraph. If you like Batman, you need to see that video.

Infytune: Batman Theme, Nelson Riddle
Infytune: Batman Theme, The Who

Onorato, True To His School, Tosses Taxpayer Dollars Into North Catholic Collection Basket

2011-08-12T12:10:00.008-04:00

Dan Onorato's administration claims (as it must) that no favoritism was involved in the otherwise inexplicable decision to sink more than a half-million taxpayer dollars into a first-rate football field used primarily by a private religious organization (which happens to be the high school he attended).

We will set aside for the moment the issue of whether funding an institution that produces the likes of Mr. Onorato and Luke Ravenstahl constitutes a prudent public investment, and suggest this experiment:

A number of public schools and community groups -- located, perhaps, in communities on the short end of Mr. Onorato's cynical, regressive, unconstitutional property assessment system, with school districts that can not afford artificial turf or a new press box or luxurious locker rooms -- should submit applications to use the fancy new field for practices (football, lacrosse, soccer) and especially, WPIAL football games. The Onorato administration's response to those applications would provide an empirical foundation enabling taxpayers to conclude whether Mr. Onorato's decision to direct scarce taxpayer dollars toward this project was (1) a reality-based attempt to benefit Allegheny County residents or instead (2) a faith-based effort to provide a free magic carpet ride to North Catholic.

Infytune: Magic Carpet Ride, Steppenwolf
Infytune: High School Confidential, Jerry Lee Lewis
Infytune: Be True To Your School, The Beach Boys

Dan Deasy May Look Like A Dancing Bear, But He Actually Is Goldilocks In This Production

2011-08-11T15:24:00.021-04:00

WPXI (as noticed at Null Space) has produced the "Baby Bear Porridge" version (not too long, not too short) of one story from the still-unraveling Pittsburgh Water and Sewer Authority ~~insurance program~~ ~~warranty program~~ scam concerning water line maintenance.

We hope the "Papa Bear Chair" version -- a lengthy, detailed, thread-gathering piece of enterprise reporting -- emerges. Until then, here is the "Baby Bear Chair" (condensed) version:

A bunch of scammers were interrupted mid-scheme, leaving an unexpectedly disheveled situation and preventing some people from getting out when the getting was good -- which explains why Dan Deasy (far right) looks so foolish trying, as a bit player suddenly thrust center-stage, to answer questions he never expected to confront.

Infytune: Some Like It Hot, Robert Palmer

You Know What Really Bugs Us About The South Side Drinking District The Mayor Is Protecting?

2011-08-08T20:12:00.021-04:00

What is most disturbing about this Tribune-Review report that a bar in Pittsburgh's South Side Intoxication District has been ordered closed by Allegheny County health officials for operating without hot water or gas but with clogged sinks and an insect infestation?

1. The same establishment was ordered closed by the health department two months ago, but had been operating recently nonetheless.

2. The same establishment was cited nearly 10 years ago for failing to operate a legally sufficient restaurant.

3. The insect infestation reportedly featured insects inside "numerous liquor bottles."

4. Because no one has been reported to have been killed or severely injured as a result of this bar's operation, this joint doesn't even make honorable mention on the South Side's "worst bars" list.

Happy Hour special: When cited by the Liquor Control Board a couple of years ago, this fine establishment was represented by the law firm that employed InsolvenCity's current solicitor (whose current job, of course, is to devise legal strategies to combat the public nuisance created by many of his former South Side clients). How's that coming along, counselor?

Infytune: We Gotta Get Out Of This Place, The Animals

Pitt's High-Octane Talk: 40 Points Per Game

2011-08-08T17:47:00.013-04:00

Pitt's footballers are talking big, particularly with respect to an offense that is discussing the prospect of 40-point-per-game productivity. That pace would constitute a substantial improvement over the 2010 offense's record -- indeed, such accomplishment would be remarkable, for at least two reasons:

1. Jonathan Baldwin, Henry Hynoski, and Dion Lewis are gone.

2. Tino Sunseri is not.

If the no-huddle, go-for-broke offense were such a sure-fire winner, for a program with the type of personnel recruited by ~~Florida~~ ~~Texas~~ ~~Alabama~~ Buffalo, Youngstown State, and Toledo, why -- in a world in which a ~~proven~~ promising college football coach commands an annual salary of $2 million -- are not more teams adopting it?

Pitt's answer to that puzzler will begin to emerge in four weeks.

Infytune: Talk Of The Town, Pretenders

American Troops Are Coming Home From Afghanistan, One Way Or The Other (And The Method Is Unlikely To Change The Outcome)

2011-08-07T19:58:00.010-04:00

The United States could have, during nearly a decade of drift and dysfunction in Afghanistan, arranged several ways to bring its troops home.

Any of the other methods would have been better than the manner in which 30 soldiers are returning to the United States today.

Infytune: Masters Of War, Pearl Jam

A Poorly Selected PLCB Chairman Resurfaces, Again Peddling Questionable Wine Deals

2011-08-04T09:54:00.004-04:00

Jonathan Newman, a failed political candidate with no apparent experience in the liquor industry, landed a politically inspired appointment to the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board consequent to a family fortune sculpted from nose jobs performed for Philadelphia's well-heeled but poorly proboscissed (Dr. Julius Newman's cash also paved the route Newman's mother followed to a spot on the state Supreme Court). Young Newman then complained about "heavy-handed politics" at the Board while quitting consequent to a dispute over another political appointment.

As a PLCB member, Newman ignored the public interest -- and in particular did nothing about the emergence of Pittsburgh's South Side as a deadly, liquor-soaked cesspool -- because he was too busy "cultivating relationships and friendships" with liquor industry players, who rewarded him with a nice set-up in the wine business after Newman quit the PLCB. (Newman's wine industry friends had profited handsomely from misleading "discount" pricing practices, introduced by Newman, that probably would have generated a consumer fraud investigation had the scammer not been a government agency.)

Newman is back in the public eye, peddling the liquor store privatization program pushed by Rep. Mike Turzai. Reasonable arguments support closure of the Commonwealth's monopoly on wine and spirits sold by the bottle. They would be easier to swallow if the loudest voices in the debate so far -- Turzai, Newman, the Post-Gazette editorialists, hackneyed ideologues masquerading as experts, buggy whip peddlers -- were not so distasteful.

While awaiting a voice for the public interest to join the table, Pennsylvanians should stick with a glass of water, or perhaps have a beer.

(Speaking of taste, some wine fanciers seem unimpressed by Newman's nose for vintages.)

Infytune: Spill The Wine, Eric Burdon and War

Grandmaster Mitchie McC Disses T-Part Clan: Some Of These New Gangstas Just Be Crazy

2011-08-03T18:05:00.012-04:00

A breathtaking observation concerning Tea Partying members of Congress -- from Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Relative Sanity):

“I think some of our members may have thought the default issue was a hostage you might take a chance at shooting. Most of us didn’t think that. What we did learn is this — it’s a hostage that’s worth ransoming. And it focuses the Congress on something that must be done.”

Until Republicans demonstrate sobriety by acknowledging the need for substantial cuts in military expenditures and a return to sensible tax rates, they're just irresponsible, graffiti-spraying street punks in Brooks Brothers khakis.

Infytune: Gangster's Paradise, Coolio with Stevie Wonder

Request For Information: Current Standards Of Conduct For Pittsburgh Police Bureau

2011-08-03T10:15:00.005-04:00

We would welcome an e-mail (infinonymousatgmail) from anyone who knows whether these two standards of conduct (or similar standards) currently govern Pittsburgh Bureau of Police officers:

3.55 Prohibited Associations

3.55.1 No member shall knowingly commence or maintain a relationship with any person who is under criminal investigation, indictment, arrest or incarceration by this or another police of criminal justice agency, and/or who has an open and notorious criminal reputation in the community except as necessary to the performance of official duties, or where unavoidable because of familial relationships.

3.54 Entering, Visiting, Loitering In Establishment/Locations Which Adversely Affect The Bureau Of Police

3.54.1 No member shall enter, visit, loiter, work an off-duty detail or be found in any establishment or location wherein the activities are not in accordance with law or where the reputation of such establishment may destroy public confidence, and so adversely affect the morale and efficiency of the Bureau of Police or cause such controversy as to affect the neutrality of law enforcement.

Infytune: Every Breath You Take, Sting with Bruce Springsteen
Infytune: Watching The Detectives, Elvis Costello with The Police
Infytune: King Of Pain, The Police

There Is One Member Of Congress Who Deserves Congratulations Today (Probably The Only One)

2011-08-01T19:30:00.004-04:00

Only something extraordinary could have created a bright spot amid the recent dysfunction of Congress.

Rep. Gabrielle Giffords' return to the House floor for her first Congressional vote in more than six months was extraordinary.

Infytune: Fighter, Christina Aguilera
Infytune: I Am Woman, Helen Reddy

Big Ben: Steelers Need Another Convict Weapon

2011-07-30T14:20:00.009-04:00

Here's a tip (what a concept, eh, Ben?) for anyone discussing the prospective return of Plaxico Burress (who spent a few years in Pittsburgh before spending a couple of years in jail) to the Steelers:

Avoid comments such as "You can always add a weapon."

Infytune: Happiness Is A Warm Gun, John Lennon
Infytune: You've Got To Hide Your Love Away, The Beatles
Infytune: Rocky Raccoon, Jack Johnson